“I am sorry. “I have to allow justice to run its course. If only so the real truth can come from the midst of the hysteria.”Alleged child rapist Darren Goddard apparently penned the above in a letter to a close friend, who read it out to Pietermaritzburg High Court Judge Kate Pillay and her assessor on Wednesday.The letter, among several others, had been written while he was in custody in 2016 following his arrest.The woman had supported the former school guidance counsellor until she learned that he had allegedly touched her son inappropriately. She later found out from the boy that Goddard had also allegedly sexually assaulted and raped him.The woman said Goddard had written to her while he was in prison, instructing her on what to do to assist him in taking care of his affairs.In the apology letter, Goddard said, “This is not the selfish option but for everyone out there that needs the truth and closure, I need this to run its course for them. Do not take that away from all of them for your sake. “You have made decisions you will come to regret like I have, and I hope you take the chance to fix it before it is too late. I have lost everything already. “Don’t follow me down the same road. Walk away now.”He added she should let things with her son run their course so the boy could have closure and help if he needed it.“He is tough and will endure. I am the only one who knows the real truth. Do not take that away from those that still need it,” said Goddard.He then accused her of forcing him into a corner by using the child to manipulate him. He said that there were consequences and listed what was going to happen next.She had to return all his possessions, including his vehicles, computers, cameras, wallet, cell phone, valuables she had removed from his house and SD card with his school documents. Goddard also told her not to take any money or any of his possessions because his parents would “by now have power” over all his affairs and would lay charges, if need be. Mother’s emotion on standGoddard said he truly wished there was some way to provide her son with closure.“I pray that his last ever memory of me is not the one of me being led away in handcuffs. I can only pray that one day I get to say goodbye properly in person,” said Goddard, and asked her to give the boy the letter.Moving on, the woman said that after she had made a statement to police stating that Goddard told her he had touched her son inappropriately, she asked the boy what had happened.At first he did not say anything, but as the days went by and she continued asking questions, he confided that Goddard used to touch him inappropriately and rape him when Goddard thought he was asleep, but he wasn’t.The descriptions seemed to affect the woman, whose voice dropped as she took deep breaths, trying to fight off tears.She said the last time her son was raped was two weeks before Goddard was arrested. This time the boy was awake and playing with his Xbox.She said Goddard told him if he told anyone, they would not be allowed to see each other and Goddard would take away all his things, such as his toys.The woman broke down when she said she was present when a doctor examined her son. The case stood down for her to compose herself.When she returned to the stand, she was questioned about e-mails and bank statements sent to her by Goddard’s mother June.In one e-mail, June told her to repay Goddard a total of R27 805, which she used from his bank account when she was not supposed to. The woman said the money was spent to buy Goddard what he needed and for food for her family.June also told her she had to pay back R3 363 she used unlawfully.She said Goddard had given her his cards to manage his finances, and to buy what he and she needed.She did not pay the amounts and was not charged, she said.She will continue her testimony on Thursday.