Lovers beware of suspicious minds

2018-02-14 13:30
Kaamani Jangali holds up a bunch of red roses at iZimbali Florest at Parklane Centre to ring in the day of love, Valentine's Day.

Kaamani Jangali holds up a bunch of red roses at iZimbali Florest at Parklane Centre to ring in the day of love, Valentine's Day. (Ian Carbutt )

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It's the day of love — but those getting into new relationships, be warned: your new partner is quite likely to snoop on you online.

Research by international cyber security firm Kaspersky Lab said a third of people online spy on their partner’s activities, with a further third being known to argue with their partners after seeing something they didn’t like on their partner’s online profiles.

What’s more is two thirds of people hide things from their partners online, and do not tell them about some activities that they do online.

Kaspersky Lab further found that about 80% of people believe couples should have some privacy online.

Head of consumer business at Kaspersky Lab, Andrei Mochola, said privacy boundaries in relationships can go out of the window in this age of social media. “With so many partners using each other’s devices or snooping on their loved ones [online], privacy boundaries can go out of the window.

“This can thwart any Valentine’s Day or birthday surprises and prevent people from keeping things secret from their partner.”

Rakhi Beekrum, a Durban psychologist, marital therapist and mental health blogger, said these findings came as no surprise. She said at the centre of couples snooping on each other online was a breakdown of trust.

“Social media seems to be one of the more obvious ways to investigate or look for evidence of possible infidelity, and most people who cheat seem to be caught out on social media such as WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger.”

She added: “There is also the issue of not posting pictures with one’s partner, which makes the partner even more insecure. So because trust is so vital in a relationship, people are looking for evidence of whether their suspicions are warranted or unfounded.”

Beekrum advised transparency and honesty for a better relationship.

“There should be no need to be secretive about what one does on social media, who they are chatting to and so on. My suggestion would be for couples to be open so there is no reason for doubts.

“Hiding your online activity from your partner will create problems in the relationship as they will be unsure of whether to trust you.

“When you hide something from your partner, there’s already a sign that you are doing something they would not approve of,” she added.

Read more on:    pietermaritzburg

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