Rules and Tools - Guys Weekend away part 2

2012-12-03 11:23

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In the first part of our Guy's weekend away guide, we familiarised you with the essential team players needed for a most memorable weekend. Now its time for a few golden rules that should always be observed in, not forgetting a few cool toys especially for boys to ensure it is a getaway of note.

The Golden Rules:

Toys are essential

Guys need activities. Arrive somewhere with a great view and sure you’ll get a few “woahs”. Within minutes however you’ll have constructed some kind of extreme cricket match with a plank and a crushed can where rebounds off the roof are out but full-toss into the bushes count for six. Basic rule of thumb: for any weekend adventure pack a beach cricket bat and ball, Frisbee, touch rugby ball, fishing rods, surfboards, boule…whatever you can think of.

You can never have too much ice
Used for keeping your meat fresh even for the third day of camping at Klein Springbokoog, carrying loads of ice will also make you popular with anyone needing to make a decent Klippies and coke. It also works on the odd wound.

Cards are indispensable
Even if you never graduated from rummy, a pack of cards and at least one person who knows the rudimentals of poker will provide hours of entertainment, especially if your mission takes you across borders to a country like Zimbabwe where going all in then involves pushing mine dumps of largely worthless notes into the middle of the table. Play for embarrassing bets (loser streaks across the beach for 1km) rather than petrol money. Soon you will all be exhibiting James Bond villain affectations like Le Chiffre and Dr No.

Biltong is a foodstuff

Just ask the gurus at Men’s Health. As such it is completely understandable to stop off in every small town or farmstall to sample the finest biltong available from farm butchers. Ostrich is leaner, yet the fatty beefy stuff undoubtedly has the most flavour. Chicken biltong is rank. Eat it at your own peril.

Leave the telecoms if you can
A break with your closest guy mates should not be spent tweeting, updating Facebook, Instagramming every awesome view and fielding work emails. It should be spent reconnecting with friendships forged long before your phone became an important tool. Lock the phones away in the cubby hole and use them only for emergencies (if the Bear Grylls clone can’t help). Leave the social media envy game of what you’re up to for when you get back.

Music is important
No matter how much catching up you have to do, some decent tunes in the car and even where you stay will make the memory that much better in years to come. Bring a selection so you don’t all have to learn to appreciate Danie’s death metal collection.

Share the load
Nobody likes a freeloader so when it comes to tasks, divvy up the duties either through a game of fives-alive or poker rankings. On that note, there are golden rules like “He who cooks, does not wash up”. The cook, nay chef is a man amongst men, capable of creating a large yet tasty smorgasbord from two tins, select roadkill and some old spices by candle light under a swarm of mosquitoes. Once he has fed you, he is entitled to sit back with a drink and avoid the cleanup operation.

Road trip Toys for Boys:

Crap Trumps
“I see your Flymo and I raise you an electric bread maker.” Trumps, the greatest time-wasting pastime of boys under 12 were all about comparing the biggest, the strongest and the fastest. “Panzer tank takes Sherman, Kawasaki beats Moto Guzzi chumps”. Now the tables are turned and the objective is to beat your opponent with the worst machines in history. A Skoda has never looked so good. Use it: somewhere between Kang and Jwaneng on the long, seemingly unending Trans-Kalahari highway. R468,

Glow in the Dark Frisbee
Flying discs that require minimal skill, but upon which you can unleash Sonny-Bill freestyle stylings, frisbees are awesome at the best of times. Add a bit of glow-in-the-dark goodness and you have the ultimate man-toy. Use it: On the beach at Buffels Bay and via the granny-grapevine make The Herald’s front page as a UFO sighting. R371,

Twister Beach Towel
Been chatting to bunch of tanned lovelies all day, but can’t quite take that bashful beach banter to the next level? We give you, the Twister Beach Towel! “Right hand on green, left foot on red, easy princess, where’s your head?” Use it: on Plett’s legendary Lookout beach, which after a river destroyed a few years back it has suddenly begun to reappear under The Lookout Deck, bar and restaurant. R290,

Travel Poker Set
Road-tripping to one of our neighbours? Become a hypothetical high-roller and take your mates for all they’re worth (or at the very least make them do something embarrassing). Pulling a mountain of Zimbabwean dollars towards you has never felt so satisfying. Use it: in some chill-time after taking on the Zambezi’s mighty rapids. R129,

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