Bridesmaid is left in 'utter despair' after bride-to-be's outrageous request

By Samantha Luiz
25 June 2016

Overjoyed. That was her immediate reaction when her good friend Caroline asked her to be a bridesmaid about four months ago.

She had done it before and thought it would be a piece of cake. Little did she know that her joy would soon turn into "utter despair".

At first, the bride-to-be sent group emails asking for input on everything from bridesmaid dress colours to buttonholes for the groomsmen.

But the woman, who shared the anonymous story on Mama Mia , shrugged it off as "just being a little overzealous".

Then one "particularly busy" day at work, the woman, who's a high school English teacher, checked her email during a short break between morning classes.

"'Hey Hayley, How’s it going? I need some cake-maker suggestions by COB today please, Jase and I really want to get a wriggle on with this and need the contact details, price brackets, flavours and an idea of how prestigious the vendor is – in a table would be great. Excel is probably best please. Thanks!'” read the email.

"I had to read the email about three times to gauge what she was asking me, shared the bridesmaid.

"After the third disbelieving scan, I felt my blood start boiling.

"'I have a full time job, for crying out loud, how am I meant to get all this info by then?' I thought, panicked."

Eventually, she replied to the e-mail, saying that she was having a busy day and wouldn't be able to get if done by end of that day.

No response.

It was only after the bridesmaid sent her the requested information that Caroline responded.

“Thanks for this, would’ve been really helpful to have it yesterday when specified but I appreciate it,” read the reply.

"Ouch. I put it down to 'bridal stress' and got back to my normal life, hoping she wasn’t too mad at me."

But Caroline's "overzealous" requests were just the beginning.

After three consecutive weekends of searching for right dress, Caroline finally found a "stunning satin Marchesa wedding dress that she looked perfect in."

"The only problem was it cost twice her dress budget - $10,500 (R158 000)," explained the anonymous woman.

"After many 'dooo itttt, you should totally splurge, you only get married once' reassurances for her many bridesmaids, she decided to purchase it."

Later that night, the bridesmaids received another group email from Caroline "that I'd started to dread."

"The subject line was 'Bridesmaid dress contribution' and it made me break out into a cold sweat."

The long e-mail was outlined how she and Jase were "hugely over their bridal budget" now that she’d splurged on the dress.

She wrote how it was “totally fine if you can’t” but she would really love if the bridesmaids could all “pitch in” around $150 (R2 260) each towards her “dream dress”.

"That it’d mean so very much to her and would mean that as she walked down the aisle, she’d be wearing something we’d all had a part in," shared the stunned bridesmaid.

"As well as our own outfits, accommodation, the hen’s party, bridal shower and the three spa days she wanted us to plan prior to the wedding. My bank account was already taking a battering from the wedding and now this?

“I nearly threw my phone across the room, such was the rage that consumed me."

Read more: Wedding guest left ‘gobsmacked’ after email from newlyweds to say £100 gift wasn’t generous enough

At the time of writing the anonymous post, three of the seven bridesmaids had replied saying they’d love to pitch in for Caroline's dress.

"Whether they genuinely wanted to or not, I just don’t know.

"But I’m starting to think I might have to bail on this wedding, and friendship."


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