Celeb junkie: Lindsay’s laughable lawyer!

By admin
13 March 2013

Our celeb junkie takes a closer look at Lindsay Lohan's new lawyer.

By Nici de Wet

The Hollywood train wreck that is Lindsay Lohan is nothing if not entertaining – but nothing has amused us more lately than her current excuse for a lawyer, Mark Heller.

The troubled actress hired him in January after she fired her longtime attorney, Shawn Holley – and it turns out this guy is dodgier than a room full of Lohans! He looks and sounds like a character out of a mobster flick with his Nu Yawk drawl, designer suits and greased-back hair and is, in a word, useless.

During a recent court appearance regarding Lindsay’s cop-lying case, even the judge told him to go and read up on law after he botched his facts. Ouch! Then in a bizarre letter to the prosecutor, Heller said his client is looking to start a Lindsay Lohan Foundation where she’ll “provide inspirational talks, encourage children to pursue positive goals and avoid bad habits!” Riiiight . . . does he really think parents are going to let their kiddiewinks listen to a woman who regularly gets behind the wheel of a car sloshed and who can’t understand why leaving a jewellery shop with a necklace makes her a thief? We did a little digging and it turns out Mr Heller was suspended from practising law for five years back in the ‘90s and some lawyers have even gone so far as to brand him a “menace to the public”! Between him and his stroppy, trout-pouted client, we don’t know who’s worst? But you must admit – they make for some damn funny reading. Photo: Valerie Macon/Getty Images/Gallo Images

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