Don't stay mad

By admin
18 June 2014

You can’t believe you and your best friend have had such a row. You both got what you had to say off your chest, and now you can’t take it back. It’s been two weeks since the argument and even though they hurt your feelings, you miss them. How do you make peace?

Give each other time to cool off after your argument

If you had a blazing row, it’s necessary you both cool down and think about what happened. Use this time to establish why you’re so upset and what you really want to say to your friend.

Make contact

Phone your friend or send a message in which you explain your friendship is important to you and you’d like to talk things over.

Say you’re sorry

It doesn’t matter who started the argument or if you think it wasn’t your fault; swallow your pride and say sorry for hurting your friend’s feelings. The chances of them also apologising are high. Try something such as, “I’m very sorry we had an argument. Can we start again?” If it was your fault be prepared to say you were in the wrong.

Talk about it

If you really want to retain the friendship, it’s important to iron out the problems. Give your friend the chance to explain how they feel and listen with empathy. When you talk, try not to be accusatory and rather use sentences such as, “I was very upset when you . . .” In this way your friend won’t feel you’re blaming them for the argument. Don’t stop communicating before you’re both satisfied the problem has been resolved.

Make a peace offering

Give your friend a small gift such as chocolate or a plant to show you’re sincere and your friendship is important to you.

Return to normal

Try to resume your friendship as soon as possible after your conversation. It’s important to earn each other’s trust again – so don’t discuss your argument with others.

-Shané Barnard


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