Finding Mr Right is not easy

By admin
29 October 2013

Dating blogger Erla-Mari Diedericks finally meets a dream guy on a dating site but then a text message bursts her happy bubble.

The other day it crossed my mind – there are many false promises made and false hopes raised in the search for a soulmate. Laying your soul bare – or in this case electronically sending it out into cyberspace – takes courage. It’s a labour of love. Not that it always leads to love.

In my case I’ve met several possible soulmates, only to have it backfire. Because how they woo you online is not always how they do it in reality. And the way the guy sounds online is not necessarily now he is in real life.

A while ago I met a man who promised me the sun, moon and stars. Or actually a bath with a seaview – which he’d carry me to. He dedicated loads of poems to me and when we met it wasn’t only perfect, it was superperfect. I was in a dream. He carried me off to his flat suspended above the waves and ran me bubble baths filled with promises in which I lay soaking while he played me love songs.

Over candlelight and champagne I was seduced. My search for my elusive soulmate was over. He took me to a property with an old ruin overlooking the sea. Here he wanted to build a house. I wondered if I was part of the picture. Yes, he whispered. “I see myself walking on the beach barefoot and relaxed. And you . . . you’ll sit and write.” We went to the Mount Nelson and drank champagne in a hotel room while he watched rugby – something for me – something for him. We cooked meals together and spoke about a life together.

A future . . .

He broke up with me with a WhatsApp message on a cellphone. “I have too many problems in my life. I’ll only spoil yours.”

The problems? A divorce that was far from resolved. And a whole lot of other things only he knows about.

My heart was broken. The same day he sent me the message I heard I had a lump in my breast and I had to go for a mammogram. I told him about it but didn’t hear from him again.

A week later things suddenly looked rosier. The mammogram showed everything was perfect – and he contacted me again.

And so the cat-and-mouse game began. One day he wanted to be with me, the next day not. I became increasingly insecure until I eventually sent him his marching orders – using WhatsApp. Some would say he got what he deserved. But my heart was broken.

No one won.

This is the story in a cracked nutshell. I’d really thought he was my soulmate.

But my soulmate still eludes me.


Erla-Mari Diedericks is the author of the book Sin, Sushi & Survival and her latest novel, Still Standing, is now available in shops countrywide as well as at also offers online writing courses. Click here for more information.

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