Guys, get the swimwear right!

By admin
12 December 2013

Guy About Town is getting his swimwear ready to head to the beach but he has one last blog for 2013 to make sure guys are not embarrassing themselves in unflattering swimming costumes this summer.

Nuwe hooffoto

Guys, if there’s one place Guy About Town can’t resist it’s the beach. Lazy summer days spent wearing a swimming costume and lying next to the cool blue sea or an inviting pool is ideal.

But as with all good things in life there are one or two things that spoil them. One of them is a scanty Speedo parading up and down and spoiling the view, the wearer so self-absorbed that only a chafe wound would get his attention off himself.

speedophotos via Compfight cc speedophotos via Compfight cc

Guy About Town once had a girlfriend at school whose brother enjoyed walking up and down beside the pool in this scrap of cloth. He never went into the pool and his sister confirmed that the whole affair was for effect. Nothing more. Guy About Town sees it as his duty to provide you with information about the famous (and often infamous) piece of cloth that is sometimes bought together with a pair of socks. This week the topic is swimwear; what will suit your figure and how to decide which costume to buy. THE PRICE AND COLOUR

“Why would anyone spend thousands of rands on something that’s going to get wet?” Guy About Town heard Aunt Miems objecting to designer swimwear in his imagination.

No, when it comes to swimwear Guy About Town believes you should buy what you like and what you can afford. The most important thing to consider is how often will you wear the costume. If you’ll wear it every day for the next year because you’re going to live on the island of Barbados, you should choose a durable costume. Otherwise the R99 costume is just as effective. Buy bold patterns in every colour. If you have a dark skin solid colours can look good – oranges, bright blues and reds. Lighter skins need lighter colours – otherwise in the bright sunlight and reflection on the beach it can look as if the costume is approaching on its own. Left: mbsurf via Compfight cc Right: McArthurGlen Designer Outlets via Compfight cc Left: mbsurf via Compfight cc
Right: McArthurGlen Designer Outlets via Compfight cc THE FIT

Okay, this can get complicated. And complicated explanations require too much brain work for something used for recreation. Guy About Town has the following, simple advice:

  • If you’re tall and slim you’re lucky – you can wear nearly anything and look good in it.
  • If you’re short, go for shorter shorts. A costume with long legs (such as the long board shorts) will make you look even shorter.

McArthurGlen Designer Outlets via Compfight cc McArthurGlen Designer Outlets via Compfight cc

  • For the gentleman with the built-in tyre tube around his waist: avoid anything short. From a distance your costume will look like a Speedo.
It’s as simple as that. If you’re tall, wear a longer costume and if you’re short, wear a shorter one. THE SPEEDO

People often ask if wearing a Speedo on the beach is modern man’s biggest sin. Guy About Town has thought about this for a long time and concluded that there are two types of people who go to the beach. The first type goes to swim, run around and tan. The second type goes to be seen. These people don’t go near the water and they almost never have an umbrella with them because they spend their time parading up and down the beach. They never sit down and seldom look at the sea. They’re too busy looking around to see who’s looking at them.

Guy About Town isn’t a fan of the Speedo because it’s so often worn incorrectly – too tight, too baggy, too bright, etc. Stay away from it if you’re in doubt. But if you want to be seen, buy one. Make sure it fits and never  “overestimate” yourself or “underestimate” yourself by buying one that’s too small. That’s fatal.

Chrystian Guy via Compfight cc Chrystian Guy via Compfight cc

Happy tanning and chat again next year!

Guy About TownGuy About Town

Guy about Town and his mate Metro Man blog for YOU about fashion ideas for men who want to look good and fashionable without spending the price of a mansion or look like a strutting peacock. Join in their discussions on Twitter and Facebook.

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