Love you, hate you, love you

By admin
25 February 2011

It sounds like a fairytale – a girl waits a lifetime for her prince and finally wins his heart.

But singer Steve Hofmeyr (46) and 32-year-old fitness instructor Janine van der Vyver’s love story has been anything but a fairytale. She was his bit on the side for years. And when it all blew up and he dismissed her in the media as an amusement she took revenge by dragging him to court.

Now they’re lovey-dovey again – but after everything they’ve done to each other is there enough of a foundation left on which to build a healthy relationship?

Steve seemed hesitant when he announced on Facebook he and Janine were back together. “We’re damaged goods,” he wrote. “Let’s see if this forgiveness thing works.”

Janine has been working on a book about the debacle for the past three years – in which Steve is unlikely to be portrayed in a rosy light. Then there’s the court case: she’s suing him for R1,2 million.

Presumably the book and lawsuit are on ice for now. But the question remains: can love really be blind to all this?

“Love helps but in real life it takes hard work to make a success of a relationship, especially one that’s in the public eye,” Johannesburg relationship expert and sexologist Elmari Craig says.

Craig says it’s difficult to build a healthy relationship where there has been a long history of broken promises, cheating and trauma.

“It’s important for a relationship to be built on trust and respect,” she says.

“But a good relationship in these circumstances isn’t impossible – trauma can also cause personal growth and insight.”

It seems Steve initially regarded Janine as a source of pleasure, according to Johannesburg psychologist Dr Janne Dannerup, who specialises in relationships.

“There are two possible reasons for the reconciliation,” Dr Dannerup says.

“Either Steve doesn’t want to lose money in a lawsuit and is playing along to placate Janine, even if it’s just for a while.

“Or he has developed new respect for her as a person, as an independent woman who is no longer willing to play second fiddle in the ‘Steve Show’, which makes her a worthier partner than before.”

Janine’s lawyer, Anneline Swart-Snijman, has been told not to speak about her client’s love-life. She will release a statement about how the developments affect the case, which was due to be heard later this year.

Read the complete article in YOU, 3 March 2011.

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