Molested by a teacher

By admin
05 November 2010

As a bouncer at Cape Town clubs Johan Hendrickse let his fists do the talking.

But behind the aggression lay simmering anger and repressed memories of being molested by a schoolteacher when he was 15.

As a result he failed matric and for more than 20 years tried to erase the memories with steroids, alcohol and casual sex. But finally he’s opening up.

‘‘If I don’t tell my story I’ll never find closure,’’ 43-year-old Capetonian Johan says.

‘‘I want to be able to hug my kids without holding anything back, hold my girlfriend without suddenly being moody for no reason.’’

Steroids and bodybuilding transformed Johan from a wiry 64-kg matric student into a 113-kg hulk.

‘‘I spent more than 10 years as a bouncer protecting others because no one had been there to protect me in the past,’’ he explains.

It was only after he’d landed up in police cells for seriously assaulting a man that Johan consulted a psychologist and with the help of hypnosis puzzled out events in his life between 1983 and 1984.

The sexual molestation left him feeling dirty and guilty. ‘‘Something was always chasing me; I had a short temper, drank a lot and fought a lot. I pushed people away from me, even my four children.’’

He is divorced from their mother.

He’s now receiving counseling and has lodged a complaint with the police, but a conviction isn’t the most important thing for Johan.

‘‘If that man whom I really looked up to asks me to forgive him for abusing my innocence I’ll be able to find peace and get on with my life,’’ he says.

Read more about his life in YOU, 11 November 2010.

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