So how did it go?
"Short, disappointing, and shameful" and "I'd rate it a solid 10/10" were some of the answers to a question posted on Reddit to men and women who had waited until their wedding night to have sex for the first time.
"Saving" one's virginity till marriage might be considered a dying practice in this day and age, but some couples still choose to abstain due to religion, tradition or just personal choice.
One Reddit user was brave enough to ask couples like these the million-dollar question: So, how was it?
The answers were well -- insightful:
"Short, disappointing, and shameful due to the duration.
Happy to report that practice makes perfect, and it's fun practising."
"Exactly how it was for us too. We always dated with chaperones (usually friends and group dates). It took sooooo long for the fascination of just being alone together to wear off. We'd go driving around aimlessly just because we could.
And sex. So. Much. Sex.
It wasn't really "good" for me the first few months but we learned it together and it was fun regardless."
"My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We were very excited, not only to have sex for the first time, but to get to live in the same house, go to sleep in the same bed, etc. Up until we got married, we never spent time alone together in his apartment or my dorm.
It wasn't as if we just had great sex immediately (I was painfully tight and also a bit fearful, and he couldn't last for very long) but that didn't really matter. We talked openly, and just spent time together and touched each other and enjoyed being together, and laughed a lot together (we played rock paper scissors for who would take their clothes off first!)
So honestly, the first night in terms of sex was pretty disappointing, but neither of us were disappointed because we weren't just looking forward to sex, we were looking forward to being married. And we were thrilled that we were finally married and got to live together!
By the end of the honeymoon we were better at just the literal mechanics of sex, and no less thrilled to be around each other and be married (and be naked!)"
"Virgin here. Getting married tomorrow. I'll let you all know. ?
Edit: (I commented on the post, but makes more sense to edit.) This is what I commented earlier today:
Wow. Definitely should've checked this in the morning.
Currently pooping to respond. You're welcome. First time was awkward, short, really funny, and she said I need to try to thrust longer, so that was funny and demoralizing. Also, lingerie looks really good on beautiful women in real-life, too.
Anyways I'm going back to banging my wife.
Edit 2: and I will clarify, she said that jokingly. We both knew going into this that I wouldn't last too long haha
Edit 3: am pro now."
"My wife and I were both virgins when we got married. The first time was great and funny to look back on. I didn't even make it fully inside her before blowing my load but after 15-20 minutes we were right back at it and had better success. We went at it at least one other time that night and then were humping like rabbits as soon as we woke up the next day. So much sex that week..."
"My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We finally lost the V-card 3 days after the wedding.
On our wedding night, he couldn't get the right angle to get in and had a premature detonation. I was too shy to help guide him in. He said "Shit! I'm so sorry!" and then we went to sleep. Repeat for a few days until finally BOOM! It hurt for a second and it was over another second later. We've been married 10 years now, we're happy and have a good, healthy sex life. I think we're both rather easy going and found it rather funny. It helped that neither of us had high expectations that it was going to be magic the first few (50) times. We still tease each other about it now."
"My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. I was a very plain 19-year-old and he was 25 and never had the opportunity. Our wedding night was awesome and hilarious. When we got to the hotel, I put on my brand new silk nightgown and he turned on the radio. We started getting used to the new freedom when 'Let's get Physical' by Olivia Newton-John came on the radio. We felt it was a sign and just went for it. We were giggling so much. We made love 3 times the first night and the same song came on during each session. It made it so memorable. It has been 35 years and that song still makes us laugh and run to the bedroom. The sex is still awesome."
"Oh this is a good question.
He had a srs girlfriend before, but I was a virgin. I was excited about it. We did Christian premarital counselling and the therapist (female, licensed psychologist) took one on one time with each person in the class. She told the men to write these really sweet letters to us to give us the night before we got married. She told the women to write letters too, but about what we wanted on our wedding night. And to make it pretty explicit. Basically, I wrote him a whole letter's worth of fantasy erotica. It was really funny to see him the next day during the wedding, cause he was like "...whoa."
I wasn't really nervous about it at all. Premarital counseling was pretty legit with us talking through our expectations and what we wanted, physically.
Communication keeps nerves in check.
Edit: I didn't expect this many people to be interested in this concept, haha. I forgot to mention that we had NO idea what the other person was writing. The letter topics were total surprises, so I'm sure he was expecting poetry or some shit from me. Surprise!"
"It was ... fine. The most awkward part was that both of us forgot lube and texted the maid of honor, asking her to go to a store and get us some.
The big problem that we have is that we were together for 4 years before we got married so we got really good at not having sex. Even after being married for a few years we sometimes seem to forget that it is just a thing we can do instead of watching old Futurama or Top Chef."
"My wife and I both waited until our wedding night. And I'm in the minority here, but it was honestly fantastic. We started out by always being honest about our expectations of sex, and what we wanted from it, both personally and for our relationship. A couple months before the wedding, she went to her OBGYN and told him her plan. He gave her something I've never seen before: a series of plastic "expanders" that increased in size....or basically, just cheap, plastic dildos that no one would ever actually use to stimulate themselves. They started out really small....like the size of a pencil...and increased in size to be about average penis size. So she basically stretched herself out beforehand. This resulted in a MUCH more pleasurable and pain-free experience for her. We also had a variety of condoms (ribbed, flavored, etc) and oils/rubs to use. My best friend had also given me some tips on how to make sure I didn't go too early. Which was very helpful. So now finally to the wedding night....the first time. We went to our hotel after the wedding, ordered Pizza Hut, she changed into lingerie, and I waited on the bed. We both got to know each other a bit more, and then had a great first time. We ended up doing it a couple more times throughout the course of the evening. She even woke me up in the middle of the night and asked if I was ready (that hasn't happened much since). So basically, if you're waiting, just be prepared, talk with each other about expectations, see your OBGYN, have lots of ideas of things you wanna try (and you're both on board with trying), and have fun."
The takeaway? Keep expectations low and practise often!