Tallulah Willis: I needed help

By admin
09 January 2015

Tallulah Willis has opened up about the "overwhelming" depression she suffered before going to rehab.

The 20-year-old daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore sought help in July last year, spending 45 days in The Meadows facility in Arizona. She's now spoken about what caused her to confront her issues, revealing she had been incredibly unhappy for years.

'I didn't sleep or want to talk to anyone, nothing seemed to have a point'

"In college the depression became overwhelming. I didn't sleep or want to talk to anyone, nothing seemed to have a point, the world lost its colour, and food lost its taste. I was so removed from my body and from my mind that it was like I was living in a cardboard replica of what life should be. Not even so much because I was doing drugs but because I was so sad and so unhappy," she told Teen Vogue. "Finally my sister Scout forced me to see what I was doing. There wasn't a huge, horrible moment, but I knew I needed to go take care of myself."

Tallulah began struggling with her sense of self when she was just 11. She explains her public and personal personas have always been tricky to balance, not least because while her parents are superstars she doesn't see them in that way.

"My father is usually in sweatpants, sometimes grumpy, with baby throw-up on him all the time. He's my cute little Papa, not a big action star. My mom is a hilarious little weirdo (that's where I get it from), not a glamorous sex symbol," she said.

Although her mom and dad instilled in her that she was lucky to be so fortunate, as she grew up Tallulah began to think she didn't deserve her upbringing. But she knew many would kill for all she had, so she didn't feel able to voice her concerns.

At 13 she read some nasty comments people had made about a photograph of her online, and that made her begin to view herself as "a hideous, disgusting-looking person".

"In high school I continually searched for something that would make me feel OK," she explained. "I felt like I had to dress really skanky and be the loud, stupid drunk girl at the party. I figured people would like that, and I was beating them to the punch."

The star's eating disorder turned up a notch when she began to develop into a woman, which is also when she started to starve herself.

Rehab was a turning point for Tallulah and while she is still not completely better, she at least feels on the road to recovery.

It's not the first time the star has discussed her private issues. In September she revealed she was diagnosed with body dysmorphia when she was younger, meaning she had a skewed vision of how she looked.

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