‘When you die, do I get your stuff?’: Doting dad tweets the hilarious things his daughters say

By Litaletu Zidepa
22 April 2016

Death, boys, how babies are made – no subjects are off limits in James Breakwell’s household.

The father of four from Indianapolis in the US documents hilariously candid conversations he has with his wife and daughters aged five, three, one and five months old.

The 30-year-old, who has almost 400 000 Twitter followers under the name ‘Exploding Unicorn’, told MailOnline that no subjects are off limits.
“I'll tweet about anything that makes my family look good and me look bad. As long I come out on the losing end, everyone seems happy.” As well as tough subjects like the birds and the bees, James’ tweets also centre on how uncool his daughters think he is.

The writer and office worker told Buzzfeed that his daughters, whose names he’s never revealed, love being the centre of his social media feed. “On one hand, Twitter makes me a better father because I spend more time with my kids,” he explained. “On the other hand, Twitter makes me a much worse father because I only do it to get more material.”

One of his many funny tweets includes an exchange between him and his five-year-old daughter about whether her mother did a good job marrying him.

The conversation starts with James telling the eldest: “Let’s make the house nice for Mom.”

She then replies “She doesn't care how things look... She married you.” Another one includes a chat about boys. The three-year-old tells James about a boy at her nursery school who likes her, and he asks whether she likes him too. Her reply? “He colours outside the lines. He needs to grow up.”

The father-of-four also shared an argument between him and his wife Lola over buying milk, using kiddie alphabet magnets on the fridge. Where one of them wrote: “Buy more milk.” The other replied “No f**k u (sic).” He also shared a picture of his youngest daughter passed out on the couch, holding a bag of Cheetos and covered in leftover crumbs, which he captioned: “No DNA test needed. I’m sure she’s mine.”

Still, James did admit some of his tweets are exaggerated – and he has been known to make a few up here and there to get a laugh. “My tweets are a mix. Some are real, some are exaggerated, and some are made up. Most are at least inspired by my kids.”

He added he was surprised by the admiration he gets from Twitter users.

“If there's one thing I understand about the Internet, it's that it never gives you what you wish for.”

James says the reason he started his Twitter page in 2012 was to promote his web articles but soon decided to write jokes instead.

“That's the way Twitter usually works. It's a slow, creeping obsession that gradually destroys your entire life.”

Sources: BoredPanda, MailOnline, Buzzfeed

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