Cape Town – In her new Netflix documentary, Miss Americana, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival recently, Taylor Swift revealed her challenge in overcoming an eating disorder.
The Lover singer recalls moments during her 2015 world tour when she felt she was "going to pass out at the end of a show, or in the middle of it", reports BBC.
"It's only happened a few times, and I'm not in any way proud of it," she said in the film. But she defended her actions when people tried to help her.
According to HELLO! Magazine, the 30-year-old said photos of herself triggered her. "It's not good for me to see pictures of myself every day," she said. "A picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big, or someone said that I looked pregnant, that'll just trigger me to just starve a little bit – just stop eating."
Taylor elaborated, telling Chris Willman for Variety, "I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine, and the headline was like 'Pregnant at 18?' And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment.
"And then I'd walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room, and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, 'Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually, we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!' And I looked at that as a pat on the head.
"You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body," the Cats star said.
"I think I've never really wanted to talk about that before, and I'm pretty uncomfortable talking about it now. But in the context of every other thing that I was doing or not doing in my life, I think it makes sense."
Miss Americana will premiere on Netflix on 31 January and will follow Taylor's career from her beginnings in country music to international stardom.