The 11 best moustaches on internet TV

Will Ferrell in Anchorman. (Photo: Paramount)
Will Ferrell in Anchorman. (Photo: Paramount)

Cape Town - Gentlemen, these are the characters who’ll give you something to aspire to this Movember. You can find them all on internet TV this weekend.

1. Ron Burgundy in Anchorman (Showmax)

The funniest Frat-Pack comedy stars Will Ferrell as San Diego’s suavest newsman, with his cronies Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, who are dumbfounded when a lady-person joins their 1970s newsteam. Ron’s moustache is one of his greatest achievements, and we can’t fault him, for it is as spectacular as his suits and his jazz flute.

2. Schalk Bezuidenhout in Comedy Central Presents: Schalk Bezuidenhout Live at Parker’s (Showmax)

He's the most hilarious man in dodgy jerseys with the worst (or is it the best?) moustache you've ever seen, and he's doing his stand-up act live at Parker's Comedy at Montecasino.

3. Captain Mack in Soul Plane (Showmax)

Nashawn (Kevin Hart) goes through the plane trip from hell, so he successfully sues the airline. Awarded hundreds of millions, he decides to open his own hip-hop themed air travel service. He hires Captain Mack as the pilot, played by Snoop Dogg, without realising that Mack has never left the ground and that he learned to fly on flight simulators while in prison. He might be terrible at flying planes, but his moustache is perfectly on point in this slapstick comedy. 

4. Randy Marsh in South Park (Showmax)

No topic is taboo in South Park, the long-running animated series that always goes where others wouldn't dare. Randy Marsh, Stan’s father, is voiced by Trey Parker (as is Stan), and he’s basically all moustache. He’s a geologist with a doctorate, on paper the smartest person on the show, but he’s actually a complete idiot. Remember that time he gave himself cancer on purpose so he could get his hands on medical marijuana? South Park Season 21 comes to Showmax express from the US, with new episodes landing weekly.

5. Every single dwarf in The Hobbit trilogy (Showmax)

In this stunning adventure trilogy, peace-loving Bilbo Baggins seeks to reclaim the Dwarven throne alongside an army of men who must have the most elaborate facial hair ever to be seen on screen. Bilbo fights off fearsome monsters, dragons and orcs on his journey. Does he have a big enough heart to succeed? All three Hobbit movies are on Showmax.

6. Gomez Addams in The Addams Family (Showmax)

They are creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky - but don't let that scare you away from the wacky Addams clan in this brilliant star-studded comedy. The family patriarch Gomez, with a moustache of note, was played by Puerto-Rican actor Raul Julia, who got his big break in the 60s by performing Shakespeare on stage, and died at the age of 55 in 1994, only a year after the release of the sequel, Addams Family Values (also on Showmax).

7. Don Vito Corleone in The Godfather: Part II (Showmax)

The sequel to the blockbuster that became a classic in its own right (and the only sequel to ever win the Best Picture Oscar), this film continues the story of Don Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) as a Mafia boss in the late 1950s, while following the young Vito (Robert De Niro) on his journey to becoming the original Don Corleone. Just like Marlon Brando, who played the older Vito in the first film, De Niro boasts a badass moustache in Part II. All three Godfather films are on Showmax in the Godfather Collection.

8. Toll A$$ Mo in MTV’s #YouGotGot (Showmax)

Are you ready for the wildest pranks in SA? Tol A$$ Mo and his wispy upper-lip hair host the country's first prank show, going everywhere across SA, from the 'burbs to the streets, showcasing the good, the bad, and the most mortifyingly embarrassing pranks played on ordinary South Africans.

9. Ferdie Kruger in Hotel, Seasons 1 and 2 (Showmax and DStv Now)

This mockumentary set in an Mpumalanga hotel sees the old-school manager, Ferdie Kruger (James Borthwick), sporting an old-school ‘tache, butting heads with the corporation that's bought the hotel as they both try to make their mark. Will the Fransen Hotel ever get more than one star on TripAdvisor? Also starring Schalk Bezuidenhout (though sadly, he’s clean-shaven). If you’ve never watched this hilarious South African version of Fawlty Towers, you can catch up on Season 1 on Showmax and look out for Season 2 on DStv Now.

10. Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction (Netflix)

Quentin Tarantino brings his motley crew of moral degenerates - small-time crooks, hit men, a crime boss, his drug-addict wife, a professional boxer and his French girlfriend - together in four gloriously violent mini-films. Samuel L Jackson plays Jules Winnfield, the hitman with the moustache and sideburns, the briefcase, and the uncanny ability to avoid getting killed, despite coming up against numerous people who are trying to do exactly that.

11. Llewelyn Moss in No Country for Old Men (Amazon Prime)

When hunter and welder Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) stumbles across the bodies of drug runners who have killed each other in a handover gone wrong in rural Texas in the early 1980s, he seizes his chance to pocket the two million dollars he finds at the scene. But this puts one of the most frightening men we’ve ever seen on his tail - Anton Chigurh, played demonically by Javier Bardem. But it’s Josh Brolin’s moustache we most admire in this gritty, brilliant action thriller from the Coen Brothers.

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