The Bachelorette's Kyran on that exit comment: 'I stand by what I was trying to communicate'

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Kyran Wright on The Bachelorette SA.
Kyran Wright on The Bachelorette SA.
Photo: M-Net
  • Warning: This article contains strong language.
  • Kyran Wright is one of the latest suitors to leave The Bachelorette South Africa.
  • The conservationist from Cape Town left Qiniso Van Damme in tears as he told her to "check your own bullshit" as he bid farewell.
  • "I stand by what I was trying to communicate but if given the chance again, would phrase it in a kinder way," said Kyran.

When Kyran Wright said goodbye to Qiniso Van Damme on The Bachelorette SA, she was left in tears.

The 32-year-old and Lunga Kapiso were the latest suitors who the bachelorette did not offer a rose to.

Kyran and Qiniso clicked early on until they had a one-on-one date which left her questioning some of his comments. After that, despite winning challenges, he didn't get to spend some quality time with her again, leaving him frustrated. He wanted to build a relationship with Qiniso based on honesty and trust. But things did not work out, and Qiniso failed to find the connection with him.

Before leaving, the conservationist from Cape Town left the 27-year-old with some harsh words. "I gave you honesty and trust, you gave me challenges, and I won them. Perhaps you should check your own bullshit."


In this Q&A, we ask Kyran about that 'nice guy' comment and whether he regrets leaving Qiniso in tears.

You and Qiniso seemed to click in the beginning; why do you think things changed between the two of you?

I felt that we had a strong early connection, particularly after our one-on-one date after the LottoStar auction. When you get that time, though, you are aware of other gents in the house not having had that opportunity and are inclined to take a back seat at the subsequent cocktail parties. I think alone time in the show is a form of currency, and if you are too idle (either by circumstance or decision), the spark you've created can wane - this is what I think happened to me.

Did you have a feeling that you would be leaving that night?

Not at the start of the cocktail party, but following our chat, I had picked up on a feeling. It was, however, only as we were lined up at the rose ceremony that I realised that I was in true danger of leaving (given the sequence of men who had their names called early on).

In episode 4, you were frustrated that you had to 'jostle for a position amongst the guys'? Was the experience different from what you expected?

Not at all. I was fully prepared, having watched previous versions of the show, that this was a reality of the format. However, that didn't mean that I wasn't experiencing frustration - especially on that particular evening where others who had had time on the group date were getting ahead of me. At that stage, I had maybe had a combined 3 minutes of alone time with Qiniso since our date, and that was weighing on me.

Kyran Wright and Qiniso Van Damme on The Bachelore
'I PICKED UP ON A FEELING:' Kyran and Qiniso chat during the cocktail party.

You had a lot of concerns about the 'white rose.' We didn't see it in the episode, but did the other men reveal it was a prank?

The white rose made an appearance at the painting group date. I had been anticipating its introduction, so when we arrived back at the mansion and were greeted with rather strange rules, I tried to make sense of it. I viewed the fake white rose rules as actually being more of a hindrance than an advantage and was internally questioning the rationale behind the rule change. I think we would have sniffed a rat if that rose had not been at the painting date. It was a well-executed prank, and I did not know about it until I watched the episode myself!

During your one-on-one time with Qiniso, you said: "I can come across as a nice guy." Do you see how this could have been misinterpreted, and how could you have expressed yourself better?

Absolutely! It was a bit of a foot in mouth moment, to be honest. I was trying to express that although I am polite and mild-mannered, it doesn't mean that I am unable to stand up for things I feel strongly about. "Nice guys, finish last," is the saying, and I was trying to avoid being framed in that regard.

Let's talk about that bombshell speech you dropped when you left. What do you consider to be Qiniso's bullshit, as you said?

I think it's important that my words are viewed in the context in which I meant them. Qiniso had asked all of us in episode 3 to confront our own bullshit and my feeling, at that moment, was that she hadn't confronted her own - specifically in what she was looking for in a suitor. I felt that I had given her the requested honesty and trust, but, at the time, did not think that this had been reciprocated. When confronted with leaving the mansion, over essentially a poorly phrased throw away statement, I felt like my candour had not been returned in kind. In retrospect, I understand why she would feel the need to play her cards close to her chest and don't begrudge her for her decision.

Qiniso Van Damme and Kyran Wright on The Bachelore
'CHECK YOUR BULLSHIT': Kyran gives his parting shots.

After seeing Qiniso's reaction to your words, do you regret saying it?

Yes, I do regret it. I stand by what I was trying to communicate, but if given the chance again, I would phrase it in a kinder way, less reliant on past events. I truly did not mean to hurt or offend her but wanted to encourage her to give more introspection into what she was looking for. I think that she is a remarkable woman, and I wish her all the best for the rest of the journey.

During the exit interview, you mentioned that you won several challenges, although that did not secure you one-on-one time. How did you perceive the challenges, and do you feel that wins during challenges should outweigh personal connections?

I don't think that winning challenges outweigh personal connections. I phrased it in that manner as an example of her statements regarding what she was looking for in a man. "I want a winner," was what she asked of us in episode 2 and "honesty and trust" in episode 3. I felt that I had met those expectations and hence my comments.

Since the episode aired, the goodbye speech and the nice guy comment has gotten some backlash on social media. How do you feel about that?

Obviously, it is not a pleasant experience, and I am saddened that perceptions of my character have been based on those moments. In saying that, I do understand how the viewers have arrived at those conclusions based on what was shown, even if it wasn't the whole story. I certainly do not view myself in that light and believe that those who know me can attest to that.

Are you still looking for love?

I actually have already found it! After exiting the show, I started seeing a fellow conservationist, and the romance has blossomed. She has been incredibly supportive whilst not afraid to call me out on my own bullshit.


The Bachelorette SA airs Thursdays at 19:30 on M-Net (DStv 101)

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