Black Coffee accepts some of the blame for the breakdown and undertakes to support Enhle Mbali.
DJ Black Coffee has broken his silence on the much-publicised divorce from his TV personality wife Enhle Mbali Mlotshwa.
In an extensive interview this week, the DJ – real name Nkosinathi Maphumulo – said he had tried everything but failed to save his marriage.
But according to several sources, the last straw for his wife was revelations that the international DJ had fathered two children – who are aged 12 months and 14 months – aside from the emotional abuse she alleges he subjected her to.
This, according to the source, is what pushed her to file for divorce in the Johannesburg High Court in October.
However, in a wide-ranging interview, Black Coffee sought to set the record straight.
‘I was not perfect, I take the blame’
The DJ could neither deny nor confirm the infidelity allegations levelled against him or the birth of the two children.
He said he had been advised by his lawyer not to respond to some of the questions as the matter was now in court.
But he said he wanted to set the record straight about the misconception that Mlotshwa filed for divorce first.
He said he was the one who suggested that they should separate, after realising things were not working.
“In April this year, I sent a lengthy email to her in which I suggested that we should separate and she should find a place to stay with the kids and I would pay for it. I did that because I wanted us to improve our marriage and to be more involved with them. But she declined the offer,” he said.
He admitted it has been a tough time for him.
“I wish I could speak [about this], but me speaking won’t serve any purpose,” said the emotional DJ.
“I believe I have done enough to try to fix things. I don’t want to speak about her faults – she is the mother of my children after all. Whenever I was wrong, I admitted I was wrong. We tried everything, such as seeing a therapist and a life coach, but nothing worked,” he said.
“We have reached the point of no return. For the first time we are understanding that we can’t be together,” he said, adding that he has accepted that their marriage ended a long time ago.
“Going through the pain alone is very painful. I was fortunate that I was on tour.”
He said his work has been therapeutic for him during this difficult time.
“But my pain drives me to perform better on the decks.”
‘I got the shock of my life’
Two years ago, Mlotshwa and Black Coffee signed a prenuptial agreement [a written contract by two parties before they are married].
“Even outside the prenup, I didn’t go against it. I was trying to help. I volunteered to give her more. I offered her to choose a car and a house she wanted,” he said.
But there were rumours that his wife wanted to contest the prenup because Black Coffee forced her to sign “a raw deal”.
“There were witnesses. It wasn’t imposed. It was an agreement between two parties. As an entrepreneur I invested in different businesses so it was impossible to sign in community [of property]. I am not hiding [any] wealth,” he explained.
He added that the reason he wanted to do more for her was because she had been part of his life.
“But it seems the more I offer, the more they tell her to ask for.”
He said they had been close to settling their divorce. “Both of us had even agreed to see the mediator – the deal was done.
“But I got a shock of my life when the sheriff of the court served me with divorce summons on the same day that we were supposed to see the mediator. I felt like someone died,” he said.
Black Coffee said that even though there had been disagreements with his wife he never stopped doing his duties as a husband.
“I still made sure that I paid her monthly allowance, she had a roof over her head and 24-hour security.”
‘I want to be a great father to my kids’
“My parents divorced when I was very young. My purpose [in life] is to be a great father, be there for my kids and to make sure they don’t have the same upbringing I had.”
He added: “Losing my family is not a beautiful thing. When I am out there I am a superhero – Black Coffee – but when I come home I am a husband and father.”
When asked if he blamed himself for the marriage breakdown and whether he could have done things differently to save the relationship, he said: “Yes, I am blaming myself for a lot of things.
“There was a time when I did an introspection and I realised that people are triggered by many things to behave in a certain way. But now I am clear that everything happens for a reason. I was not perfect, no human is perfect. I take the blame,” he said.
But he said he did not have any regrets.
“I did what I could until the last minute. She has made many mistakes. Unfortunately, we have to move on and that’s what unconditional love is [all about]. I’ve been at that place where I am swimming in sorrow, blaming myself.”
Rumours on dating Cathy Lobé
In June this year, the renowned DJ was accused of having an affair with French socialite Cathy Lobé, the ex-wife of international DJ superstar David Guetta.
Lobé shared a video on Instagram of her and Black Coffee hugging at the Cannes Film Festival in France.
There were also rumours that in fact Lobé was the reason for their divorce. He denied this.
“It’s not true. Someone decided to make it up. I work with her a lot because she manages VIP clients at the club where I DJ when I am in the US.
“When I met her in June last year, I was playing at a charity event. She was excited to see me after we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Then she gave me a hug and people [had] already concluded that we are having an affair. This has made my working relationship with Cathy and David awkward. Now she is even scared to come closer to me,” he said.
‘All will be revealed in court’
According to sources, a lot will be revealed in court when the matter is heard in the next few weeks.
“People are going to be shocked when they hear the whole truth behind their divorce. What has been reported so far is far from being the truth, worse is coming. What is more disturbing is that these two children are very young – one is 14 months old and the other is 12 months old.
“What is sad is that the news [about the children] was broken to Enhle informally by one of Maphumulo’s family members who told her that ‘these things happened in a marriage’.
“Although Mbali was aware of her husband’s infidelity, this broke her heart even more,” said a source close to the situation.
“Mbali has been through a lot in her marriage. She tried everything to be a good wife and a mother. For many years she suffered in silence, trying to save the marriage. But this time around she has had enough,” claimed the source.
Mlotshwa declined to comment.
Her mother, celebrity make-up artist Bongi Mlotshwa, wept uncontrollably when approached for a comment. She told City Press that her daughter’s divorce has taken a toll on her.
“I am more emotional than her. Unfortunately, this is a sensitive matter between two parties. The law must take its course. I cannot say much for the sake of my daughter and grandchildren,” she said.
– Additional reporting by Philani Mzila