‘I masturbate too much’

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Jade Zwane.
Jade Zwane.

Resident #Trending sex therapist Jade Zwane answers our readers' burning sex questions.

Reader: I need your help. I have been with my husband for four years and he has really been so busy with work that we don’t make love as often as we used to. Today when we were in bed I almost screamed out another man’s name. I have been fantasising about this man a lot and I am so worried. How do I stop these fantasies? I don’t want to hurt my husband as I love him. I really want to stop fantasising about this man, but the problem is I see him almost every day because we live in the same building.

Fantasising about someone other than your partner does not make you a bad person.

But it sounds as though you’ve lost a handle on your fantasies. Reality check: your neighbour probably has some flaws, as we all do. Try focusing on reigniting the spark between you and your husband. During his down time do things that both of you enjoy to get you reconnected.

Reader: My name is Musa and I am a 30-year-old father of a healthy three-year-old daughter. I have one testis. I have never told anyone about this. Am I abnormal?

You’re not abnormal. One testis is enough to maintain fertility and erections as long as it is healthy.

But it’s worth having your doctor check if your other testis isn’t an undescended one. After that examination you can then decide together on the way forward.

Reader: I masturbate too much. Please help.

I am the biggest advocate for masturbation. It’s about self-love and sexual exploration. However, if you find yourself wishing you’d rather be masturbating while at work or while out with friends, it’s worth investigating.

It should not get in the way of your regular daily activities and commitments. See a therapist to establish the root cause.

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Do you have a question for Jade? SMS the keyword SEX and your question to 35697. You can also email trending@citypress.co.za. SMSes cost R1.50. Please include your name and province

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