City Press readers ask Jade Zwane candid questions about love,life and sex.
Reader: I’m 65 and my husband is 66. We have a loving relationship and he wants to have sex, but I have no interest and this is upsetting both of us. I think this is very unfair. Can something be done?
Jade: Are you on any hormones? Any medication or supplements that could be affecting your sex drive? Your sex drive will change with age. See your doctor and have him or her check if your hormone levels are what they should be. In the meantime, be open and honest about your lack of desire and communicate everything to death with your husband. It’s easier for him to be understanding when he’s aware of what’s going on, and where you are at in terms of your state of mind.
Reader: I’m failing to have sex with my wife. My penis won’t become erect. What can I do?
Jade: Depending on various things, including age and lifestyle, you may have erectile dysfunction. Are you able to have a full erection when you masturbate? Consult your doctor and he will advise further if you should be on treatment or see a urologist.
Reader: I want to have a sex change and be a woman. Can you offer any advice?
Jade: It is great that you are self-aware and in tune with your sexuality. Gender confirmation surgery is neither cheap nor an easy journey to undertake. I’m not saying this to discourage you, but to prepare you. There are hormones involved that need to be taken. However, before you can start the hormones you need to see a psychologist, as required by law. Sadly, being transgender is seen as a mental disorder in most countries, including ours. A therapist has to give the go-ahead for hormone treatment before you can even get to the surgery. I hope you have a great support system as you will need all the love and support you can get.
Do you have a question for Jade?
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