'I’m male, but want to be female'

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Jade Zwane
Jade Zwane

Hi Jade, I’m a male who wants to be female, but I have no idea where to start. Could you please help me?
The first thing to do is find a psychologist who is familiar with gender dysphoria, the feeling that the gender you identify with does not align with your biological sex. The next step will be hormone replacement therapy. Your general practitioner will be able to assist with this. It’s important to note the high costs that go with the process.

Not all transgender people will transition and the process varies from person to person; there is no one-size-fits-all procedure. The next step to follow will be gender reassignment, which involves surgery. All the best on your journey.

Male and female symbol with transgender or unisex

I’ve been reading a lot about how one’s physical fitness can benefit one’s sex life, but I don’t know what is actually true. Is it that certain exercise can lead to better sex?
This is a growing field of research interest. So far, it has been found that enhanced sexuality has a direct relation to regular exercise. Sex itself is a form of exercise and while the results don’t match those of a 5km run or an hour’s gym workout, it burns calories and builds fitness.

Physical activity in the form of exercise not only releases endorphins and sex hormones, causing blood to flow to the genitals and thus arousal, it also improves mood and increases sexual desire. Exercise also contributes to improved self-image and attractiveness, making people more comfortable and therefore willing to share their bodies with others. Aerobic exercise, including running, swimming and anything that increases blood circulation, is always a good idea.

During the holidays I noticed that my husband was constantly on his phone and when he wasn’t on his phone he was guarding it with his life. When I looked I saw that he was in online sex rooms. I haven’t confronted him about it because I’m still not sure how to react or what to say. Do you think cybersex is cheating?

Anything done in secret is not right. It is important that you have the uncomfortable, but necessary conversation with your husband about what you consider infidelity because it varies with each couple. Traditionally, infidelity has been anything that includes the exchange of bodily fluids. But with the growth of the internet and social media use, it now includes emotional infidelity.

In my opinion, your husband’s secrecy constitutes infidelity. He is doing something that he knows will hurt you, hence the secrecy. He is completely at fault for your bruised ego and feelings of betrayal. There is nothing wrong with some mystery between a couple, but secretive behaviour is non-negotiable.

Do you have a question for Jade? SMS the keyword SEX and your question to 35697. You can also email trending@citypress.co.za. SMSes cost R1.50. Please include your name and province.

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