Will your December relationship stand the test of time? Or is it just a fling?

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Every relationship needs work. Are you giving yours the attention it deserves?
Every relationship needs work. Are you giving yours the attention it deserves?
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Once December 1 starts, the festive season is officially here. South Africans are getting ready to travel, to relax and eat to their heart's content.  

Others are looking forward to letting loose and enjoying a holiday romance. The lovers lane gets a little busy around the festive season and it's easy to get caught up in the romance of it all. 

There are already conversations about relationships closing December 1, network issues, and how some will be buffering until January 3. 

But how can you tell if your new December relationship will expire in January or if it will turn into something more?

DRUM speaks to relationship expert and life coach, Paula Quinsee who shares why you should possibly keep one eye open during this time when it comes to matters of the heart.

“Holidays are all about summer, sun and having fun so why not get excited about being asked out on a date or two? It is naturally exciting when we meet someone new and there is the potential that this could lead to something more,” she says.

However, Paula also adds that in most situations, romance found during this time tends to fizzle out after a period.

It’s more than just a thing?

· You've met each other's friends and family and spend time with each other.

· They don’t pressure you to have sex.

· They make an effort with their appearance, going on dates, and really getting to know you.

· They treat you with respect.

· They don’t constantly talk about their ex or past relationships.

· You share common interests, values and lifestyle.


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“Many people dread the thought of being alone on the holidays, being the ‘spare wheel’ at social events, when out with friends and family, or they are potentially dealing with a recent breakup and trying to get over their ex and a distraction seems to be just the answer,” Paula explains.

According to Paula, there could also be the chance that people want to portray a certain image whilst on holiday, especially when it comes to social media and wanting to create a perception that they are having the most amazing time with an attractive holiday lover and the things they are getting up to.

It’s just a fling?

· If they only meet up with you when it suits them and are not interested in anything about your life or things you want to do, then chances are they are just in it for a good time. 

· If one or both of you are on the rebound from a previous relationship.

· If you are only hanging out at social events and not spending any alone time together, you may just be someone to hang out with rather than a potential love interest.

· They’re just interested in one thing.

“If things start to lose steam in January, consider it a holiday fling and reflect on what brought you together in the first place - treasure the holiday memories and move on. True romance will withstand the test of time, and not just your calendar so if you are still together after Valentine’s day chances are it’s more than a fling,” she adds.

“If things start to lose steam in January, consider it to be a holiday fling and reflect on what brought you together in the first place - treasure the holiday memories and move on”

Paula says to save yourself from disappointment, the best thing to do is to be clear on what your expectations are and what you are looking for when hooking up with someone over the holidays – a relationship or just having fun?

“Be sure to communicate this up front so you don’t lead the other person on. Be aware of the things they tell you and whether things seem to “add up” or not. Listen to your instincts, if something feels too good to be true, it probably is. Holidays can be fun and yes you can meet your prospective ‘happy ever after’ whilst out there soaking up the sun, after all who doesn’t love a holiday romance?”

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