Sophu and Philasande Pandle got married almost seven months ago, now the couple are sharing their experience as newlyweds and how marriage has changed their lives.
The 27-year-olds told DRUM about their decision to get married young.
“Well, I wouldn’t say I actively made a conscious decision that I’ll get married young, it was never a decision. It just happened. I prayed about it. God communicated and confirmed certain things and I said yes to my husband’s proposal,” Sophu says.
Philasande, on the other hand, had an age he wanted to get married by and he did just that.
“I had a mentor at church that I looked up to and how God helped him with his marriage and ministry, I wanted the same for myself. When my mentor got married at 27, I also said I’d like the same for myself, but when the time came I was scared and I chickened out, but God convicted me when the time was right, at 27 years,” Philasande explains.
How their lives have changed
The couple shared how their significant other has changed their life.
“My husband is one person who when he does something, he does it wholeheartedly and doesn’t suffer from ‘Abantu bazothini (What will people say)’ syndrome. I think for a very long time I suffered from that but ever since I met Phila, I just do things that make me happy and no longer worry about what will people say. At the end of the day, people will always have something to say. He has taught me to be myself.”
Phila’s life also changed significantly after he got married.
“My wife has taught me accountability and responsibility. I used to think that one of my challenges when I get married is having to say where I am at this time because as a bachelor, I enjoyed attending concerts and chilling with the guys and coming back at my own time but now that I am married I have to report to my wife about my whereabouts. I help out with chores and cooking at home,” Phila says.
Phila and Sophu met at church in Port Elizabeth. Sophu says that at the time it never crossed her mind that she would marry him because she took him as a brother.
“My goodness, I never imagined myself getting married to Phila, the way he was so childish, he was one of the guys who was all over the place. We ministered together in the same departments at church but never thought he would be my husband but its just God working in ways that we cannot fathom.”
Sophu explains how she felt when she woke up next to her spouse for the first time.
“For me, it was comforting,” Sophu says. “When I got up in the morning I was like, ‘Lord, I have never been so sure about something in my life like getting married to this guy. He is a nice guy, he’s cool and chilled, he lets you be’. It confirmed that this was the best decision I’ve ever made, besides giving my life to Christ, of course, that one can never be compared to anything.”
The Pandles would like to leave a legacy of a Godly generation. They would love to teach their kids to trust and fear the Lord. Phila says he also wants to reach out the young couple. Sophu adds that she wants to leave a legacy of trusting God – she says she has more confidence in telling other young people about Jesus now that she’s married because she can tell them boldly that you don’t need to date someone to marry them ’cause you can never fully know a person.
Sophu says her first-time experience with her in-laws was amazing. She says her mother-in-law is a sweetheart.
“Recently, my husband and I visited his mother. She’s a sweetheart. The home I got married into is very warm and full of love, my mother-in-law takes me as her own daughter. Interesting fact is that both myself and Phila are the only children from our parents so for his mom, it’s like she received a daughter. I’m so blessed. I had a wonderful experience.”
Sophu’s’ advice to young people about marriage is that if they want to get married, they should pray.
“My advice to other young people when it comes to marriage is that if you want to get married, you should pray and trust God that he will give you a suitable husband and as you pray, tell God the type of husband you want and then ask yourself if you possess the qualities that someone else would look for in a person.
“Before you want someone with certain types of qualities, do you have the same? But, most importantly, pray about it because marriage isn’t about only taking pictures together and being romantic or whatever, it’s a lifetime commitment. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life saying, ‘How I wish I didn’t get myself into this’, instead you want to thank God for your life partner. Pray and talk to God about it,” Sophu explains.
Phila’s advice to other young people is that they should be busy, they should keep themselves occupied with the things of the Lord while praying for their wives on the other hand, but be busy and serve the Lord. He made a practical example of himself a year before he got married. He was invited to be part of leadership, and that helped him a lot not to always think about finding a wife, but rather trusting God to find him a wife.
The Pandles are excited about their first Christmas together.