'He forced me to abort but I didn't, now he's not part of his baby's life'

accreditation
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES).
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES).

I fell pregnant at 23, and my baby daddy showed his true colours. He went from being a supportive boyfriend to someone completely different.

He made it clear that he didn’t want to have a baby with me and forced me to have an abortion. I decided to keep the baby and found myself on the receiving end of his insults and accusations.

A CHALLENGING TIME

I gave birth to our beautiful daughter and fell in love with her instantly. When I told him, he said he didn’t want anything to do with us – he even went as far as saying the baby isn’t his. I was unemployed at the time.

So were my parents. My daughter had no clothes, no food or nappies. But God never failed me, and my friends and relatives helped where they could. I applied for a grant, which helped with basic stuff like nappies and formula. It pained me that he had a good job but refused to assist us even after I begged him.

Read more: "Can I trust my man who has cheated before?"

When our daughter fell ill at three months, she was rushed to hospital as she couldn’t breathe properly. I told her father, but he told me to stop nagging and find myself a hobby. He then blocked me on all his social networks. I was devastated.

GIVING UP

Everything was just too much for me. I was an unemployed single mother, constantly accused and insulted of wanting to trap my exboyfriend because he comes from a well-off family. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw.

I was broken, drained and didn’t feel pretty or strong. I saw a loser, a good-for nothing woman who couldn’t even provide for her only daughter. I was at my lowest. That’s when I attempted suicide by swallowing pills. I woke up at a clinic and to this day I regret doing something so stupid.

I realised that I couldn’t change the situation, so I had to make peace with it. My ex-boyfriend unexpectedly sent me a message on Facebook telling me how sorry he was and how he wished he could make things right.

Read more: "He's threatening to send our sex tape to my family if I don't take him back"

He apologised and promised to support his daughter financially but only after he made sure she was his. We went for paternity tests, which came back positive. He then started to support his daughter.

FINDING PEACE

Instead of being angry or hating him, I asked God to give me the strength to forgive. I forgave him for my own sanity. I now have a job and can look after my daughter. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m so glad I didn’t abort her.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For only R75 per month, you have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today.
Subscribe to News24