'He paid lobola and then dumped me – what do I do? '


He has dumped me


I’m a 28-year-old mother of two and the father of my children has just broken up with me after eight years of dating and despite paying lobola recently. It hurts because I still love him.


When a man has paid lobola, the relationship is no longer only yours and his, but it involves family. Ask your family to set up a meeting with his family so that it can be discussed whether he still wants to go ahead with marriage with you or set you free. Then you can start the process of healing and learn to live with your children without him.

Psychology Today suggests five ways you can get over an ex.

·        Cut off contact. 

·        Let go of the fantasy.

·        Make peace with the past.

·        Know it is OK to still love them.

·         Love yourself more.


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