I did everything right and he still cheated on me – what do I do?

accreditation
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES)
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES)

Question

I’m a confident, loyal woman and I’ve never let my boyfriend down. I make sure to show him love, give him good sex, dress up nicely and treat him with respect. Yet he still ended up cheating on me while I was away for a few months.

I forgave him and we’re back together but I’ve noticed things have changed. He’s cold towards me and he’s no longer gentle when we’re in bed. The romance has gone and he’s lost his sense of humour too.

He says he loves me but I feel him drifting away. I’ve discovered he watches porn on his phone. This makes me feel like he’s lost interest in me and it’s as if he’s cheating on me again. I’m starting to lose my confidence and don’t know what to do.

Answer

Never make the mistake of owning someone else’s actions or mistakes. Whatever it is a person does, that person is accountable for it, not you. His actions are selfish and have nothing to do with who you are and how you handle yourself. It’s not a reflection on you.

You say you put effort into your appearance for your man but looking good and taking care of yourself should be something you do for yourself, not for him. It shouldn’t be a priority just because you want to keep your boyfriend happy and please him – it should be about making sure you feel good about yourself.

If you do it for someone else, you’ll just be disappointed when they don’t acknowledge or appreciate your efforts. You need to find out from your boyfriend what his intentions are regarding the relationship.

Tell him that you feel there’s avoid between you, even though he’s there. Ask him about his recent hobby and what it means for your sex life. Don’t beat yourself up over his actions.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For only R75 per month, you have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today.
Subscribe to News24