'I want to leave my abusive husband but I don't know how'

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(Photo:Getty Images/Gallo Images)
(Photo:Getty Images/Gallo Images)

Question

I’m 25 and a proud mother of a three-year-old baby boy.

His father infected me with HIV when our son was one, and ever since then I’ve hated him. I’m finding it hard to forgive him because I was faithful, but he cheated on me.

He begged me not to leave and I stayed but we fight a lot. Sometimes he hits me when I don’t want to sleep with him, and I’ve had enough. The strange thing is I’m finding it difficult to leave. Please help.

Answer

It’s sad that the one person you trusted is the person who seems to have betrayed you.

His actions were particularly selfish because he decided to have an affair without even thinking about using protection for either you or himself. Although you are hurt and angry about what he did, you might be finding it hard to leave because you still have feelings for him. He is the father of your child, after all.

But he’s also abusing you and you should think about how that affects your child’s wellbeing too.

What I suggest you do is seek help to deal with what he’s done. Sort through those emotions separately and then make an informed decision about the rest of your life.

In the meantime, safeguard yourself by insisting he use protection during intimacy. You should also get a protection order against him for the violence he’s subjecting you to.

Karen tell us the different ways we can use to let go when It’s unhappily ever after and also knowing when to let go, so you can start afresh and not resort to cheating.

 

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