'I’m a prisoner and my girlfriend has another man – what can I do?'

(PHOTO: Getty Images/Gallo Images)
(PHOTO: Getty Images/Gallo Images)

'She’s dating someone else'


I’m a 36-year-old guy who’s been in prison since 2010 – I get out this year. I have a girlfriend who is a teacher at a private   school and we have two kids.  I never wanted us to separate and I always tell her I still love   her, but now she’s dating another man. She hasn’t told her parents yet because they know me, and she still comes   to see me twice a month. 

My problem is I am very angry about what she’s doing, and I don’t want to get out of prison and end up hurting her. What can I do?   


You need to ask her why she’s continuing to come to see you if she’s involved with someone else. Perhaps she   doesn’t feel emotionally connected   to you anymore and so she has   moved on. Give her some credit for supporting you for nine years, but also try   to understand that she might just   be doing this out of obligation and   the fact that you’re the father of her   children.   

It’s a big concern that you think you might hurt her when you get   out. You have access to social   workers in correctional institutions and you should utilise this service. Talk to the social worker who   is preparing you for your release. Explain the situation and discuss your anger. You need to take this seriously so   you don’t get out and end up doing   something that will put you behind   bars again. 

PsychologyToday suggests that infidelity in some relationships sometimes occurs as a result of a lack of attention or intimacy. In some instances the cheater still loves their partner deeply but because there is a deficiency, they often then look elsewhere for fulfilment as opposed to leaving the relationship.  

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