I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 years and she won't divorce her husband – what should I do?

accreditation
(PHOTO:GETTY/GALLO IMAGES)
(PHOTO:GETTY/GALLO IMAGES)

Question

I’ve been with my girlfriend for two years now. We have both been married before and she is still going through her divorce.

She told me she was married when we met and that they were separated, but after all this time she’s still not divorced. I don’t understand what’s holding her back.

She says she’s happy with me and in love and we talk about our future together. She says she doesn’t love her ex, but she doesn’t seem able to make a complete break from him either. We’ve talked about it, but it doesn’t feel right to me.

Do I give her an ultimatum? How much time does she really need?

Answer

If one has been in a commitment for a while, it’s never easy to just walk away. This needs careful consideration, time and ultimately a rational decision needs to be made.

A decision to divorce has implications for all the people involved. They must ensure they are ready for the emotional and financial changes that accompany divorce.

That’s why we have a lot of couples living in this undefined state – separated physically and emotionally but still married on paper. She also might be reluctant because she wants to be sure she doesn’t make the same mistake twice.

This may be her way of ensuring certainty about what she has with you. Give her time to think things through. Talk to her about it and hear her views.

Quora says when a woman wants a man, she will deny her parents, she will quit her job and move far to where the man is just to be with him. She isn’t leaving her man because you are just her thrill, but she doesn’t want to be responsible for you.

She is taking the best of you and giving it to her man. She is going to tell you everything you need to hear so she keeps you waiting.

She gets you feeling so good when you are around her that you imagine you can’t have it better with anyone else, but you can.

You deserve someone who gives you full time love, not part time scraps.

And if you go above and beyond for her… what is she doing for you? She is using you and you are wasting your time not finding a decent woman.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For only R75 per month, you have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today.
Subscribe to News24