"I've fallen in love with my 'work husband' but I'm engaged – what do I do?"

play article
Subscribers can listen to this article

I think I have fallen in love with a man I work with. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, but I am engaged. My feelings just crept up on me. We have been colleagues for a year and have lunch together almost daily and we sit close to each other at work.

Read more: Woman has been having sex with her manager to get her husband a promotion

He makes me feel good about myself and I feel a flutter in my tummy when I see him in the morning. I really do love my fiancé, but he doesn’t make me feel this way! This guy at work says we should go out for dinner one night. Do I follow my heart? TORN


“In the journey called relationships, there are a lot of things that can happen and sometimes we wonder if we have made the right choice in a spouse,” says Gladys Pule, a life coach and registered professional nurse based in Johannesburg.

“You truly need to make up your mind about that flutter in your tummy that you feel where your colleague is concerned. Is it love? He has asked you to go out for dinner, but does that mean he is in love with you?

Read more: My boyfriend admits that he’s cheating on me with a married woman

“You have a fiancé and if he finds out about this dinner how will he take it? “Are you prepared to lose your fiancé because of this guy? “Sometimes we play with fire and lose what we have for something that may have been.

“I would advise you not to let this temptation distract you – you are about to get married. Do the right thing and stay focused, especially because you say you love your fiancé.”


Read more: Woman is in love with a man who earns less and her family doesn’t approve


Just pray, sister. It is just a fling. After sleeping with him, all that you are feeling now will go away and by then your fiancé will be long gone. You can see that he is not real – he knows that you are engaged but he is still asking you out.


You’re in close proximity to another man everyday – some sort of feeling is bound to happen. I bet if you weren’t working together you wouldn’t be asking for advice. Know the difference between infatuation and love!


That’s not love. Don’t hurt the man who loves you for a man you’re attracted too. It’s normal to be attracted to someone, the problem is what you do about it. Would you rather have a moment with your crush or a lifetime with your man?


Don’t expect your man to make you feel good – do your part also. Tell him what you want. If you want to go with another man because of how he makes you feel, then the problem is with you, not your fiancé.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24