“The late wife and my in-laws”
I’m 52 and I’ve been with my second husband for four years. He was previously married but his wife died two years before we met. We spend quite a lot of time with his family and although I like them, they can be very mean. They always talk about his late wife in front of me – they say what a wonderful woman she was and discuss things they did together. They also have family photos on their walls of her but not of me. I’m not sure if they do it on purpose. I’d like to believe they say these things without thinking. I’m not jealous, but I don’t feel respected.
You’ll never be sure if the family is doing all this out of spite or unwittingly until you talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. They might be reminiscing about good times with her and mean no harm, or it might be that they’re trying to make you feel like less of a woman because you’ve come to fill her shoes within the family.
It’s your husband’s duty to make sure you don’t feel like an outcast when you’re with his family. He needs to realise he introduced you to them and he’s the one who needs to protect you. Tell him how you feel about his family’s behaviour and what they say in front of you. He should be the one to talk to them and ensure they respect and accept you.
According to Focusonthefamily, when there is a death in a family and the deceased was heavily adored this can often cause different emotions to arise. More often than not, many families have different coping mechanisms of dealing with death while some might prefer to keep pictures of the deceased in order to honour their memory, others might do the opposite.