My partner and I have many cultural differences – how do I navigate that?

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(PHOTO: Getty/Gallo Images)
(PHOTO: Getty/Gallo Images)

I’m unsure of our future

Question

I’m a 32-year-old woman and I’m in love with a foreign man. We’ve been dating on and off for nine years – we broke up for two but then got back together. But our relationship is very difficult. It sounds like a bad thing to say because we truly do love each other, but I’m worried about our future.

As a foreigner, he has no access to so many things. He can only do odd jobs and I’m afraid to have a child with him. I’m also scared he’ll be forced to leave the country or want to go back to his home country one day – and then what will become of me?

Answer

Sometimes love can come with impossible challenges. And making decisions based on loving a person can also at times bring regret. Nine years is a long time to be with someone and it must be hard not being able to plan for the future because of his circumstances.

I suggest you do everything you can to help him to get the right documents to be in the country legally, so you don’t have to constantly worry about him being deported. You also need to talk to him about his plans and where your relationship is going. If you truly love him you should consider getting a passport and planning a visit to meet his family, so that you also know where he comes from.

PsychologyToday suggests that you should recognize that some conflict is part of any relationship, whether it’s just minor things or even religious beliefs. What is important is how you both manoeuvre around the problem and find a common ground.

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