'Should I tell my girlfriend that my late side-chick was pregnant with my child?'

(PHOTO: Getty Images/Gallo Images)
(PHOTO: Getty Images/Gallo Images)

"Should I tell her the truth?"

Question

I’m a 27-year-old guy  and I’ve been in a relationship with my  girlfriend since 2005. In 2015 I met another girl who I fell in love with and within three or four months she became my side chick.  I came clean and told my girlfriend about this girl. She was mad at me at first but we continued our relationship.

My side chick knew about my girlfriend but I didn’t tell her when I paid lobola for her. She eventually found   out and broke up with me. A few months later she passed away and I found out she was   pregnant with my child.  I’m not sure if I should tell my girlfriend about the child. Should I just keep it to myself?

Answer 

Keeping this information to yourself isn’t going to do you and your relationship any good. What if your girlfriend finds out about all this?  How do you think this is going to affect her and your relationship?  The fact that you heard about the pregnancy, even though the girl died without telling you, means there’s a distinct possibility your girlfriend might also find out.  

Also consider the question of paternity. Ask yourself why this girl didn’t tell you she was pregnant.  Do you know for sure the baby was really yours? But the bottom line is you owe your girlfriend the truth. After all, you decided to have unprotected sex and your girlfriend should know about this so she can take precautions if she feels the need to do so.

PsychologyToday suggests that any sort of infidelity needs to be discussed by both partners especially if it resulted in pregnancy. Forgiveness and trust needs to be rebuilt therefore it is important to be as open as possible with your partner regardless of what you think their reaction to the news might be.