Choreographer and mom, Takkies, took to her vlog on her YouTube channel to express how difficult it has been expecting a second child while raising her two-year-old daughter.
The soon to be mother-of-two starts off her vlog by apologising for being scarce and explains that it is because she has been feeling emotional lately.
“I’ve been feeling super guilty”, Takkies said as she started to tear up.
“About three weeks ago, the last time I posted on YouTube, I started feeling so guilty. I can’t do as much as I want to with Sana [her daughter]. And I know it sounds crazy but I think it’s affecting me because with my first pregnancy there wasn’t a toddler to run around with, to bath, to do all of these things,’ she shared.
Takkies – real name Nkateko Dinwiddy – further explains her guilt was also present when her husband was away and she didn’t have somebody to help her with everything; from washing her daughter to playing with her. She felt that she was failing her daughter because she didn’t have the energy to do all the things that she likes and the way that she likes them.
“How do mothers of more than one child do it? Especially if they have been left by themselves,” she asked.
Towards the end of the video, Takkies speaks about how the reassurance she got from her mother and friends has helped her ease up a bit.
“This past week I have been feeling so much better. I basically explained to Sana why I can’t do something if I can’t do it and I have to keep explaining to her that mama has got a baby in her tummy, mama needs to rest. I just want to let all you mommies know that I get you and you’re doing a great job”, she concluded.
“It’s natural for moms to worry about not being able to give their older children enough time or attention after the arrival of a new baby”, said physician Rallie McAllister in an article for Parent.com. One of her tips for moms who feel this way is to talk to other moms.
The ‘Daily Mom’ website lists these seven tips for overcoming guilt with your second child:
- Preparing in advance: Talking to the older child
- Make coming home with the baby happy: Include the first born
- It’s about quality, not quantity:
- Routine is key: Get your partner to help with getting back on track
- Never be afraid to ask for help: Talk to friends and family members
- Think positive: Being a mother doesn’t mean perfection
- Me time!