As a woman celebrating Women’s Day in South Africa, I expected to have a great day. To be celebrated. But it turned out to be one of the worst days of my life. I remember it being sunny when I woke up that morning. I checked my phone and found a sweet message from my fiancé.
He wished me a happy Woman’s Day. We had been dating for just over a year. I considered him to be my dream man. He supported my dreams and he was selfless and kind. I suggested we meet up for lunch on that day, which we did. We spoke about our upcoming wedding and future plans. After lunch, we kissed goodbye and went our separate ways.
A DARK TWIST
The woman’s conference I attended that day finished earlier than planned. I decided to pay him a surprise visit at his apartment, knowing he was done with work for the day. I rushed home, took a quick shower. I left the house smelling great and in my best dress.
When I arrived at his place, I knocked on the front door several times but there was no response. This was strange as his car was in the driveway. I had a key and let myself in. I immediately heard noises and soon realized that they were coming from his bedroom. I followed the noise and found the man who I thought was the love of my life in bed with my best friend. She was going to be my maid of honor at our wedding.
He turned and saw me at the door, reached for his pants and both of them put on their clothes silently. It was like it was happening in slow motion. My ‘friend’ left without saying a word. My fiancé tried to explain but I decided to end the relationship right then and there.
I was in complete shock. After we got engaged, he became very jealous and would sometimes beat me, but he never showed signs of cheating before this. I also couldn’t believe my friend would betray me in this way.
HE BECAME VIOLENT
The moment I said it’s over he seemed to turn into a wild animal. He told me that I belong to him. I kept telling him that I am done and turned to leave. That’s when he reached for the drawer next to his bed, took out a gun and threatened to kill me. He ended up beating me to a pulp.
The next day, I went to the doctor as I began bleeding as if I had my period, only much worse. I discovered that I had been pregnant but lost the baby due to the beating. It was not the first time he laid his hands on me. But after hearing about losing the baby, I promised myself it would be the last time he ever touched me.
Now I tell women that one slap is enough to walk out. He will do it again. I walked out of that relationship too late. I had lost a lot by then already, including a baby which I so much wanted. I stayed with my family for a while to heal mentally and physically.
He still stays in his home, the place I would have moved into after our wedding. The best friend who I grew up with never showed any sign that she would do what she did. I have cut all ties with her. I’m now focusing on myself.