Book Review: Are you friends worth the trouble?


Enemies want to see you make mistakes and fall. Friends want to see you fix your mistakes and thrive. But what if your friends don't want to see you shine? What if they hate it every time you add a feather to your academic achievements? What if they cringe when you buy a new house or a posh car? What if they are jealous of your relationship with your romantic partner? Are they really your friends or enemies in disguise? In his book, 12 Types of People to Love... From a Distance, author Kgoshii Tshwarelo Mogakane seeks to convince the reader to examine their close relationships and evaluate how they benefit from their relationship with others. In a nutshell, the author believes that life revolves around relationships. "And these relationships revolve around our friends, colleagues, business associates, social club affiliates, family members and lovers. Therefore, our sanity revolves around how we relate to others and how others relate to us," he says.

With an intro that takes the reader on a roller-coaster ride back to when the author lost his sanity following a broken relationship with his biological father, the book is set to spark a lot of emotion from people who have been badly affected by their personal relationships within the family set up. Chapter 1 jumps straight into the fire that we call friendships as the author creatively plunges into the dangers of having friends who are snipers. Loving The Sniper focus on friends who are the centre that holds the friendship at all costs. He says, "The sniper does not listen to your inputs. They only want you to hear what they have to say. Their goal is to ensure that you feel bad about your personal views and think of theirs as divine. They shoot you down in every conversation and expose you as an intellectual weakling."

A recovering sniper himself, Kgoshii Mogakane believes that snipers are found in romantic relationships, sibling interactions and ego-based friendships. In Chapter 4, he delves into Loving The Empty Pistol - a metaphor for useless friends. These are friends who call you when they want to have fun or when they need your help. "However, they won't do the same for you when you pick up that phone and call them for help. These are like an empty pistol, which won't help you out when caught in a situation where you want to defend yourself. They are a useless weapon that can only leave you in a ditch," he warns.

All the 12 types of people whose lives he explores in the book are summed-up in Chapter 11 and 12, Loving The Energy Vampire and Loving The Friendly Cannibal, respectively. "Are your friends here to suck your energy or uplift you to reach your greatest heights? Are your friends getting you into trouble or getting you out of trouble? It doesn't matter if this trouble is of a spiritual nature, psychological nature, emotional nature, physical nature, financial nature, social nature or familial nature: If your friends are not worth the trouble you find yourself in every time you share your life with them, the best thing to do is to love them from a safe distance.

A responsible pregnant woman will stay away from alcoholic beverages and cigarette smoke. She doesn’t have to stay away because she hates these harmful substances; she does it because she loves the child that she carries in her womb. In the same way, take good care of the dreams and the vision you carry. You can only do this if you play it safe with the relationships you allow in your personal space,” says the author.

Those interested in placing an order for a copy or copies of 12 Types, feel free to send an email to:

Kgoshii Mogakane


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