“I am 20 years old and have a baby with my former boyfriend, who denied being the father. I went on with my life, because he refused to have anything to do with me. He told me that I should look for the father of my child because he is not the one. I was ashamed of myself, however, through prayer, I became stronger and stronger. Now my baby is two years old and the father wants to come back and has lots of demands for his baby. He claims that he wants his family back. People say I should take him back. Part of me wants him back and part of me does not want him because of what he did to me.” – Lenda, Bloemfontein
My dear Lenda
You were both very young when you had this baby, so let’s assume he has grown up and realised his mistake. It is good that part of you wants him back. I suggest that you try to forgive him, because your baby needs both parents to love and care for her or him. It was good of him to decided to come back to you now rather than wait until the child has grown up and is working, as many fathers try to do. You will need the baby’s father to help you bring up the child. However, if you feel you cannot forgive him, don’t waste your time and his, or the child’s emotions. Don’t rush. Rather take your time and decide whether you still have feelings for him. It is all about feelings. If you don’t want him in your life, don’t do it because of the child – that never works. I hope this works for you and your child. Good luck.