Help me : What can I do?


“My boyfriend and I have been going out for eight years. We have experienced problems before, but this time I am ready to give up on my relationship. I found my boyfriend with another man and I really do not know what to do. Is sex with another man greater than making love to a woman? What are the chances that he will stop making love to this man? Did I cause him to try to find satisfaction with another man?’’ – Worried

Dr Eve says

It is never pleasant to discover your partner is being unfaithful to you. When you discover that it is with a man, it is a little more confusing and unsettling. Please do not compare yourself or blame yourself for your man being sexual with another man. Being with a person of the same sex is a different experience to being with an opposite sex person – one is not better than the other, just different.  Your big challenges are: do you want to be with a man who cheats on you? Can you agree to be with him as well as tolerate him being sexual with a man on occasion? Can you trust that the two of you can practise safe sex well enough? Think carefully and then schedule a meeting with your man in which you both discuss these issues.

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