How to (politely) kick someone out of your wedding party


wedding rings

Your big day is a few months away and it seems that you’ve got most of the details down. Venue’s been arranged, colour themes selected and you’ve even got your menu and catering sorted. In fact, everything’s going according to plan, except for one thing:

Someone isn’t stepping up to the plate…

In fact, balls are being dropped, appointments being missed and those invitation designs that should have been finalised weeks ago has yet to materialise.

The most obvious recourse here is to let that slacking soul go. But, how to do so when a) the person is a good friend, or b) a family member?

Letting someone go could ruin your relationship with them, but you don’t get married every day, so we’ve rounded up a few ways for you to deal with this tricky problem:

1. Try to approach the topic in the way that makes it about them.

Ask them if they’re okay and find out if they are going through something difficult. This is a great way of finding out whether or not you actually have cause for concern (you don’t want to just fire someone from your bridal party immediately) and will give the person an opportunity to redeem him/herself.

2.   Set (new) deadlines

Start out by setting deadlines for when you want things done.

This doesn’t mean you’re intractable about it, but it gives you and everyone else a good indication and timeline of what needs to happen and by when. If you’re planning on giving the offending person a chance to up his or her wedding game, this could help both of you in the long run.

3. Give the person an out               

Sometimes people discover that being part of a wedding planning party is a lot more than they’ve actually bargained for. And sometimes people say yes without really wanting to do it. Many are quick to show (whether it’s through obvious signs of distress or subtle body language signals) that they’re not happy, others do so by passive aggressively doing nothing to help.

If this is the case, the biggest kindness you can do is by giving the person an opening and asking whether or not he or she still wants to be part of the wedding.

4. If all else fails...

It’s time for the no-holds barred truth. If you fail to get your bridal party members to help, and you’re running out of time, then you’ll have to be upfront and let that person know that you can no longer rely on him or her to get things done. has some great suggestions on how to do this in a way that’s positive without being demeaning, and which will help you to stay on good terms with the person in question.

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