I like her and she doesn’t know I’m gay


“I am a 16-year-old lesbian girl. Last year on 31 December, I met a girl while I was visiting my cousin. Since then, not a day goes by without me thinking of her. She seems like a nice girl, but looks can be deceiving. She doesn’t know that I’m gay and I am afraid to tell her because she might think I’m weird or stupid. I like her very much, so what should I do? Should I tell her I like her or should I keep it to myself?” – K, Gauteng     Move! Expert advice

You are in a very difficult situation because not everyone in our community accepts that some women are lesbian. Many people despise that lifestyle and I think you need to know your cousin’s friend better before you approach her.  What worries me most is that you are afraid to tell her. Being afraid is a sign that perhaps you shouldn’t do it. Her response might be disappointing or embarrassing. Before you approach her, you need to be brave, prepared and confident. You are both young and it is complicated to deal with issues like this. If you feel very strongly about it, I suggest you prepare her before you break the news. Those close to you will also react to your decision – your parents more than anybody. If they lack understanding about such affairs, this might break their spirit and you may not be mature enough to handle it.All in all, you need to prepare yourself for the reaction of everyone. It won’t be easy, but if you are convinced this is what you want, you will be able to handle it.

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