"I have been going out with my boyfriend for a long time. I do not think it is necessary to use condoms anymore because we trust one another so much. Do you think I am risking my life if I told him that we can stop using condoms? In my belief sex without condoms is better than sex with condoms, especially when you trust one another. Do you think I am putting my life at risk by suggesting that we must not use condoms?" – Xoleka, Delft
Dr Eve says
This is an interesting and difficult question to answer. The immediate answer is yes, you are taking a risk. We all know that situations happen and sexuality is one of those things that seem to have a life of its own. We are tempted and it takes one incident with an infected person to put a partner and ourselves at risk. The acceptable answer is also no, you are not taking a risk if the two of you are faithful and total trust exists. In other words, both you and he can trust yourselves not to be tempted by other people.
Before you decide to stop using condoms it is essential that you are both tested for HIV and treated for any other sexually transmitted infections. You must know your status. Then you have to consider contraception if you are not planning a pregnancy now. By the way, sex without condoms is unsafe. How can you possibly fully enjoy yourself when a part of you is wondering whether you can be infected by a virus? Think this through and discuss it thoroughly with your man.