I’m married to a very stingy man


“I have been married for 14 years to a very stingy man. We bought a house 10 years ago and the agreement was that he would pay the bond and I would pay for everything else in the house. The house was repossessed four years ago because my husband was not paying the bond.

I found out when I got back early from work one day and found a sign saying that the house was for sale. He then took out a loan to pay the arrears but he spent the money on friends and alcohol. “I made arrangements with the bank to rent the house. I have been paying the rent, buying food, clothing our daughter and paying her school transport. My husband has to pay R210 for school fees per month and he pretends that he cannot afford it. Lately he removed us from the medical aid without telling me.  “I have had enough of supporting a grown man who works for a good company. He verbally abuses me and tries to control me. I am not allowed to have friends.” – Florence, Boksburg

Dear Florence

How could you allow this to go on for so long? This man knows that you will always put up with his taking you for granted. I think it’s about time you put yourself first. It is payback time – and it’s time to leave him.

See a social worker for counselling, because you might need support to cope with the sudden separation. You also have to make arrangements for him to pay for his family’s needs. It is his responsibility.

I suggest you move on with your life. You know it and I know it: you don’t deserve this. There are so many women out there with no men in their lives and they are happy. Sometimes they even have a better quality of life than those who are married. You can always get yourself a friend and work yourself up and care for your children accordingly. Good luck and God will be with you.

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