“I have lost interest in sex because of my husband is cheating on me. He sleeps around and he does not want to use protection. I just cannot leave my children, because of stupid reasons and carelessness of not using the condoms. My husband keeps saying that if we use protection then we are no longer husband and wife. Am I right or is my husband right?” – Anonymous, Pretoria Move! Expert advice
This is not about who is right and who is wrong. This is about life – your life. This is not about cultural stories that if you use condoms it means you are no longer married. This is about being real. And being real as a South African woman means becoming infected with HIV and STIs if you do not use protection when you have sex. You are at risk of being infected because your husband has more than one partner and because he refuses to wear condoms with you – and maybe with other women too.
It must be so painful and humiliating living with a man who openly cheats and then continues to disrespect you by not even providing for your basic protection by using condoms.
I don’t think it is a “stupid” reason to leave a husband because he does not protect and honour you. However, make sure you have support and financial resources before making plans to leave. You have good reasons to go, but you need to provide for yourself. Get support from your local POWA organisation in Johannesburg. Call them on 011 642 4345.