“We were talking to some friends of mine and a topic came up about using different styles of sex. They told me that if I use only one style, my man will leave me for another woman who will be more playful in bed. I am worried because I only use one style when making love. Will this cost me my affair? Another thing that worries is that my man asked me about doing different styles and I said I would not do it, because it is beneath my dignity. Doing different styles feels to me like being a prostitute.” – Lerato, East London
Dr Eve says
It sounds as if you have been brought up in a very conservative world that did not enlighten you about sexual information and choices. You are doing what you have been taught is the right way for ladies to behave. This is too narrow and too little fun – for you! If your boyfriend leaves you for a woman who will do more styles, then he is a fool. You need to take responsibility for your own sexuality, for your sake and not just to stop him having affairs. You have a right to be more playful, more experimental. I suggest you read about sexuality and open yourself to learning more about it. You will then become less fearful. If you feel safe and secure in your relationship, you can slowly bring in new ways of touching, talking and new positions. Tell him you are willing to try new things, but you must do it at your own pace with no pressure from him. You are in for lots of fun – and don’t forget to use condoms.