"I have three blessers instead of a career – working is not for me"

 Photo by Jacek Dylag
Photo by Jacek Dylag

My three married boyfriends are supporting me financially and I'm happy. I'm only 24 years old but I have seen and been to places. I'm up to date with the latest fashion trends and my boyfriends give me enough money to maintain myself.

Why must I work when there are men who are willing to pay for my lifestyle? I have tried this working thing and it doesn’t work for me. How do I get my friends to understand that I'm happy with my choices.

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Move! Readers respond


Get a job girl. Do not depend on boyfriends. What will happen if they leave you? Do you think you will always be lucky to get a man who will support you? Wake up and stand for yourself. 


The expensive weaves and the make up won’t cover up the emptiness you will feel inside you once your boyfriends leave you. The sadness of the families you are destroying will eventually catch up with you one day. 

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You are getting all of this because you are young and probably beautiful. When you are 35 years old and your beauty has faded, those married boyfriends will replace you with younger ones. 


I don’t see anything wrong with what you are doing. You are not pointing a gun at them to force them to give you money. They are willing to spend their money on you and that is not a crime. 

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Expert advice 

Wilma Calvert from The Family Life Centre in Johannesburg says, “The kind of lifestyle you are choosing is not sustainable. What will happen when your boyfriends get tired of you, and what will happen to your boyfriend’s three families should they find out?

What will happen to you should your boyfriends find out about one another? You won’t be 24 forever. Goals and self-respect are very important. Pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, are real concerns. Think deeply about who you are.

Think about the dream you had growing up or when you registered for your degree, the person you have become, and the person you can still be. That dream is still waiting to be brought to life by you.”

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