He was my high-school sweetheart.
We were at the same school and went to our matric ball together.He had promised me he would propose to me in front of all our friends but we changed our minds when his mother told him that we were still too young for marriage. Still, it was a fairytale.
But then, also in my matric year, I became pregnant – then everything changed.
I gave birth in June during the year following matric. It was then that I began to see the true colours of those around me.
I gave birth to a cute, charming little boy. He was sick from birth. He struggled to breathe on his own and had multiple operations.The doctors said he was so sick that he would only live for three days.I could not believe this was happening – and to my first child!
During this time, my boyfriend’s mother started showing her hatred towards me.
My boy was still alive a month after he was born. We spent our time in and out of hospitals. I am HIV-positive and my boyfriend is negative. We hid that from his mother but she found this out from my child’s hospital file.
She began using this against me, saying I’m going to make the baby even more sick. She also said I have trapped her son with the baby.
She used to tell me I am cursed and that I have cursed her grandchild as well.
PAIN & LOSS
I felt like those words from my man’s mother killed me emotionally.
His mother told him I have no future, that he cannot be with me, I will always be a failure and cause him pain.She even said I am the one who killed my son.What made matters worse is that he chose his mother’s side at a time when I needed him most.At the same time, I was so stressed about my son’s sickness and, sadly, our baby died.
Before my child died, a social worker from the hospital came to me and told me the reason my son is holding on is because of me. She said I should just say my goodbyes so he can rest in peace.
Days past by and I saw him in even more pain.
I prayed to God to take away the pain – I prayed that if he is really meant to die, then take him and let him rest.Then one day it started raining heavily. My family called to say the weather is too bad for them to come visit us.It was on this day that my baby died. I saw him take his last breath, all alone in the isolation room.
I cried and cried. I couldn’t believe it and regretted telling God to take him.
May his soul rest in peace.