Ask Sis Dolly: She favours my brother


Sibusiso asks: My mother doesn't treat me the same way she treats my brother and I’m beginning to wonder if she hates me. She hardly ever does things I ask her to do yet she hangs on my brother’s every word. She has also sent him to a better school but she says she doesn't have money to send me to the same school.

Sis Dolly answers: I’m so sorry to hear your story. You deserve nothing but love and respect but before you get angry with your mother, try to work out why she is behaving this way. Parents are sometimes unconsciously harder on the children who remind them of themselves. Your mom may be making the mistake of thinking that you and your life define who she is. For instance, she may think if she raises you the way she was raised, you’ll be a success. The problem is that she seems to favour your brother – or believe that boys need a better education than girls. I suggest you try to talk to her about how you feel and tell her that you want the same opportunities as your brother. Be honest about your feelings. If you can’t get through to her, speak to your father, if he’s around, or to a family member you respect.

If this doesn’t help, try talking about your problems to a counsellor on Youth Line (0800-121-900) who might be able to put things into perspective. Lastly, remember that you can still succeed against the odds and reach your dreams, even if your mother isn’t prepared to help you along the way

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