Bra Mo blog: If you refuse your man sex; he will cheat on you


We all know cheating is wrong and leads to heartache and misery for the person who has been wronged. However it has been my observation that some women have been partly to blame for their husbands or boyfriends flirting with other women – and even going to the extent of cheating on them.

Imagine this scenario. You and your man have had a hectic fight in which neither of you is right, but you are both unwilling to budge or communicate with each other to find a solution. So what happens? You spend the next day ignoring him. You want to make him suffer and realise he cannot fight with you or he risks losing the benefit of having you around to indulge his whims, right?

What you forget is that men are programmed to look at other women – to admire and even fantasise about having sex with them. Therefore when you slap his hand away when he tries to have sex with you, not only are you unconsciously telling him to start looking at other women, you are giving him ammunition to cheat on you.

Let’s say when you met, you had sex within the first two weeks of the relationship. You couldn’t keep your clothes on when you were around each other. However due to demands at work or stress from other areas of your life, this has made the act of sex just about non-existent. This will surely lead to your man straying from you as he begins to look for sex elsewhere.

From the scores of emails I have received from men, my take is that men want to be understood. Men want to be better partners and fathers, but due to years of been told they must hold things in and never show their emotions, it is very difficult for them to tell their partners they are unhappy. Instead they will go out with their friends, spill the beans and unfortunately a friend will say, “She doesn’t respect you – find someone who will.” And there goes your five-year relationship.

If you are not in the mood to have sex in the evening, put him down gently. But promise to make it up to him in the morning or the next night – and keep to your promise. Otherwise he will go to go to work horny as hell and see a bunch of great looking women in tight skirts or plunging cleavages and may start thinking about cheating.

Therefore ladies, don’t give other women any reason to take your man. When he comes through the door at the end of the day don’t bombard him with office-gossip from your workplace. Instead, be interested in his hobbies.

If he is into soccer, learn the names of a few key-players and get to learn the game. A man is more relaxed when he discusses what he truly loves. He won’t have to go to his friends, who will inevitably give him bad advice. Instead he will choose to stay at home and talk to you about what’s on his mind.

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