YOU know the scenario: you get a phone call from your best-friend’s wife. She never calls you. All she wants is to know where her husband is. You lie and tell her he has just left; his phone is off because of a dead battery. She buys the story. So you quickly go to your bedroom and knock on the door. Your friend appears, sweaty and grinning. He is having sex with another woman. You tell him to finish up as his wife is asking questions. He is grateful and goes back to finish what he has started. You, my friend, are an accomplice to his cheating. Yes, he is your boy, your best-friend and you might even take a bullet for him; that’s the reason why you lie for him, right? However, imagine if the tables were turned. If you saw his wife smooching with another guy, what would you do? You would go running to him and tell him someone was shacking up in his yard. Then why in the world do you let him mess up his life and compromise your values? Most men cheat on their partners. They sneak away for the evening or weekend and ignore all family commitments and gamble with a short-skirt girl with a bad weave and for just a few minutes of pleasure, compromise their lives. Cheating for men in committed relationships usually involves a guy covering for his friend, in case the wife or girlfriend calls and asks questions. It was probably fun when you covered his tracks and didn’t snitch on your friend when you were 20-years-old. However, now, you are a grown-ass man. Thabo needs a night out and he just got that coveted window that all married men crave. He’s been granted a pass for one night to do the things that his other half has no interest in being a part of.
That’s the reason why Thabo’s wife doesn’t like you, because he utters your name. It involves wild anecdotes and dirty secrets. “Don’t let my wife know how much trouble we get into tonight . . . and she mustn’t know I smoked tonight,” says Thabo. And with that, the stage is now officially set for a night of mild debauchery that will stay between you and him and will never be spoken of. You wince a little at the feeling, but you miss your old friend and so you indulge him. Bring on the first round. Thabo ends up doing disgusting things that even he is ashamed of. He isn’t taking advantage of you. He’s your friend, and he needs this from you. As a respectable man you need to set your priorities. Times have changed and we men should not repeat the mistakes of our fathers. The world is full of women who have been disappointed by us. We have seen our mothers crying and shouting at our fathers for childish behaviour and we promised ourselves that we’d never be like him. Well, look into the mirror, you look and act like your father.