The country and indeed the world have been vacillating between misery and euphoria following Ntate Nelson Mandela’s death. So much has been said about his life and what he has achieved for the country and for the world. His death struck a particular cord with me in many ways and one of them is how life, as great as it is, or how hard it is (depending on how you see it) is only a fleeting moment that goes so fast that one is always playing catch up.
This past weekend, I was fortunate to be invited to a Greek wedding. It was intimate and set amongst a renovated house that had blossoming flowers everywhere you looked.
When the afternoon clouds burst open and showered the newlyweds with blessings; and when the happy couple kissed, it came clear that if you weren’t hitched, you were given the cold look.
Because it shows you just what you’re missing out on. And when you get those chills down your spine and longingly look into your partner’s eyes, surely it must be a sign that in no time you need to go down on your knee and pop the question.
However, if you need further thought into the matter, here are a few points to consider:
YOU ENJOY THE BORING MOMENTS
Marriage is not one long date. Being ready to get engaged, means that you truly enjoy each other’s company. You’re okay with just being together sometimes.
YOU ARE READY TO DELETE ALL YOUR EXES FROM YOUR PHONE
Marriage means being exclusive with one person for the rest of your life. In many cases, it also means letting go of your baby-mama and exes.
YOU HAVE SIMILAR VALUES
You both want kids. Or you both don’t want kids. You’re both savers. Or you’re both spenders. If you already agree on the big stuff, then smaller issues, like who does the laundry, will be easier to tackle.
YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ACCEPT YOUR CHOICE
Your main squeeze shares car care tips with your sister and sends birthday cards to your grandma. If the people who know you best give your sweetheart two thumbs up, then that’s a green flag to pop the question.
YOU’RE THINKING LONG TERM
You start brown bagging your lunch and put the savings into a “rainy day” bank account. When picking out new furniture, you opt for the king-size bed so there’s room for two. You make long-term plans together, like booking a trip to Durban for next Valentine’s Day, because you assume you’ll still be a couple.