Dear Sis Dolly
My husband and I have been married for nine years. We have two children and are mostly a happy family. Our kids, both boys aged sevenand four, are naughty but not bad, but my husband is very strict with them.
I think he expects too much from them and I’m worried this will affect them in a negative way as they are still too young to understand.
If he is too hard on them maybe they will start hiding things from us. I’ve spoken to my husband and he doesn’t agree – he says I’m too soft on them and they will end up wild. This is causing problems because we argue a lot over it. I’m not sure how to deal with this. Please help.
Sis Dolly answers
It is unfortunate that you don’t share the same views on how to raise your boys and that this is causing conflict. There are different styles of parenting and your husband seems to have taken the authoritative route. Bear in mind that some of the things we do with our own children are a result of how we grew up ourselves, and how our parents treated us.
On the other hand, it could be that he’s looking at how things are for boys today and he’s scared for them – hence he’s raising them with an iron fist. This might just be his way of ensuring that they toe the line and don’t fall victim to the prevalent social ills. It’s possible that his motivation is simply the welfare of his children, and he might not be aware that at times he goes overboard.
Although what he’s doing is for their good, he should also be careful that he doesn’t prevent them from enjoying their childhood. This can only be sorted out through understanding and communication.